RAW AWE DY5WK7BLK1

I have been a bit under the weather....finally broke down and called my doctor for an antibiotic.  She wanted to give  me Zythromax....I said no...give me Amoxycillen...so that is what I got.  I took 2 of them yesterday, and they helped a bit, so I have yet to take any today.  I am thinking this annoying thing is not strep, but possibly candida...it's so hard to know.  If it were strep I think the antibiotics would have helped more, but then maybe I need to give them more of a chance...trouble is I really hate taking them at all....but I also hate being sick.  Just wished I knew of a better way to deal with this.  I have been doing a bit of reflexology on my foot...as many years ago I got something which was in my tonsils and was not responding to anything including antibiotics (like what this might be...) turns out it was the lovely candida.  Thinking that might be the case here....just not sure as it hasn't bothered me like that in so long.  So debating what to do now....continue with the antibiotics or no.  sigh.
i think it is a candida thing...which I do not expect anyone to understand....as in my body candida does so many wierd things.....so will continue with the foot reflexology and put the antibiotics on hold as they mainly just get the candida in my sinuses to rage.....I am taking lots of probiotics as well....to counter the antibiotic. 

And through all this I have been mostly raw....just a bit of sprouted grain toast...but not even every day.  I think Thursday I was 100% raw, and yesterday I was all raw except I had 4 pieces of sprouted grain toast before bed with butter and cinnamon and stevia powder on them.  That was really good.  I have lost a couple of pounds as this whole thing has affected my appetite...which is fine by me.  I have been doing green smoothies, fruit smoothies, fruit.  Thursday I made juice...romaine juice, grapefruit juice, green juice.  Good stuff.  My fingernails have gotten so strong and I think it's the romaine juice that has done that.  Will miss the good quality romaine when the season is over...it is the best!

I have started a new adventure quite excited about it....but my energy is down today, the antibiotic and the upset sinuses are making me a bit bleah but that's okay.  I am staying raw....I want the energy and the insight and the love and the joy and the high vibrations........haven't even been tempted by cooked food.  What little I tried totally turned me off.  I will share more about this new adventure when I am feeling better

Wish I had the Hicks recording on my computer here at home..I only downloaded it to my work computer..and I am really wanting to listen to it now......it really helps raise my vibration.....

might just have to check it out of the library again.........
So still in awe of raw..........so glad to be back on track.  I am eating simply, not making complicated foods...finding that is best.  Might make a few things next week...but food is besides the point, it is just fuel....I am eating to live, not living to eat.  Have alot going on......food is an afterthought as it should be most of the time.

ciao bellas

CONSCIOUS CREATION DY2WK7BLK1

What is the plan for the rest of my day?  I am feeling tired.....not just kidney issues I realized but my throat is still bothering me...had white spots on it last week...it isn't strep...but it is hanging around in the shadows...more salt water gargling is needed.  Today I have had my green smoothie and my fruit smoothie, and a few almonds...fewer than other days......not sure what I will do this evening......make juice, have a salad or ?  A salad sounds good....with garlic. 

We had a lunch seminar at our office today and I ordered lunch...sandwiches from a good shop....meat and veggie...but I was only slightly tempted....still hanging on to wanting to keep this good raw space.  So I had a bit of spinach salad...may have eaten a few bacon and cheese molecules but avoided them as much as possible without worrying about it too much...it was good but there wasn't much left..so it wasn't much.

Getting reinforcement for creating the life of my dreams......need to spend more time dreaming.....working on keep the good love vibe going for everyone in every moment.....no matter what.  Yes!  Conscious creation.  Listening to more of the Hicks and also got a great e-book about Conscious Creation...

SMOOTHIES!! DY1WK7BLK1

Food today is a green smoothie and a fruit smoothie.  Watching some more Dan the Man....love watching Dan the Man...and got inspired to do a smoothie fast......may or may not do it but I will definitely have them be the majority of what I eat.  Yesterday I had 2 fruit smoothies and 1 green smoothie....a salad...a banana or two...and some raw almonds.  Made my fruit smoothie today with my almond/coconut milk and 2 tbsp of hemp seeds.

Today has been absolutely 100% raw, and a wonderful day as well.  Everything just flowed.  I had my smoothies and a banana and some raw almonds at work.....then another banana after work.  I have stopped going to the gym for a little while...I needed to take a break from it...it was getting boring plus I have been tired again, kidneys again...I swear it must be candida in them....they do get better when I take the Primal Defense, thankfully, as you totally take them for granted until they pain you or don't work properly.  Mine seem to work, they just ache sometimes.....they didn't like my fruit smoothie so much....I took some Primal Defense as I was drinking it, but it didn't kick in until later......ouch.

After work I went to a free meditation class....there is a great store in town that offers free yoga and meditation.  I would like to do a yoga class but I didn't feel ready for one last night, so when I saw they had a meditation class tonight I thought that would be perfect.  It ended right when I needed to pick up the boys from kickboxing...worked out well.  The meditation itself was a bit different but good...I liked the people there esp the ones leading it.  One was a woman close to my age...very nice...definitely will go again.

Came home, made some more almond milk, then made a green smoothie for the boys...a bit strong on the arugula taste so I had to add another banana and a touch of vanilla.  That helped...they both drank it.  Yay!
My dinner so far has just been almond milk...sweetened with a bit of yacon syrup, and then a tiny bit of stevia.  The yacon didn't sweeten it as much as I like, but I didn't want to add more as it's expensive, so I added just a few drops of stevia instead of an entire dropperful....it's good....but I am wanting something more.  More banana?  More salad?  Not sure....just a bit of something else.

I listened to a bit of a Jerry & Esther Hicks book on tape while at work....he was reading it....it was interesting and seemed to contribute to the natural flow of my evening.  I don't have it on my computer here at home or I'd listen to a bit more of it.  But I think it's just as well not to.  So a good day..  I look forward to having many more.

Here is something that I posted earlier today over on the Garden Diet 28 day blog....
I am always here......doing my own thing, keeping quiet when I go off track.....finally back on 95-100% raw...it feels so good...why do I ever leave?  I know the answer to that question....I go off track when I hit bumps in the road, when I feel stressed either physically or emotionally...but my steering is getting better, my balance is getting better.  Even if it's not perfect (and I know it's not, will never be...) it's all good. Reading Jinjee's post with today's instructions and her blog excerpt was really helpful.  She has been mostly all raw for the past 17 years, but she still has issues with food sometimes, mentioned how using food to numb herself emotionally was an issue.....and from what I read from everyone who is raw and honest....they do as well.  It is just life.  Things come up.....it's not what happens but how we react.....and it feels good to acknowledge this.  To give myself a break.  A long time ago someone saw me very clearly, and told me to ...'go easy on you'.....and I knew what he meant....but doing that...isn't always so easy....but with raw it is so much easier.  Much easier to feel love, love myself, love others, go easy on myself, go easy on others.  I was looking at that today and was a bit appalled at how hostile towards others (and myself) I am sometimes.....it's not a sign of how bad I am, but how much more enlightened my thinking has become, and the reason is eating raw food.   I have discovered and have been watching Dan McDonald's videos (the Life Regenerator)....I really like them.  He's not perfect....but he's good and getting better all of the time, and he is real and honest and it's very inspiring to read his blog, watch his videos.  He does things alone, things with his daughters, things with Dave the Raw Trucker...things with alot of people.  I would really love to hear more of Dave the Raw Trucker's story...because he seems to have changed so much....has gotten to such an amazing wonderful place in his life with raw foods....I can never get enough of people's stories.........want their story to be my story.  Working on that.

After having been on a cooked food saga, and now back on raw.....it's amazing how much better I feel.  I was feeling grumpy and unfriendly and bleah, depressed......and back on raw, I see myself feeling better and happier everyday and I ask myself how can I not stay raw....and again...the answer is obvious....but I hope that the next time a bump in the road comes up, I just hold my breath and steer through it....and stay raw.  Even if that means eating only fruit smoothies and raw desserts.  Stay raw.

FRUIT! DY7WK6BLK1

Today was another successful raw day.  Not 100% but 95 or higher.  I had a green smoothie for breakfast, some raw almonds for snack, a banana or two, some raw almond butter straight off the fork, a fruit smoothie made with banana, kiwi, orange and my almond milk.....then I got a salad of mixed greens that had some sliced hard boiled egg on it (like 3 slices), and some grated cheddar cheese and came with a bleu cheese dressing.....the not so raw part, but other than that and a few altoids I was 100% raw.  Dinner tonight was another fruit smoothie...same as earlier....and that was enough.  I will be going to bed soon......and need no more food.  I also took some chanca piedra today and 6 Primal Defense tablets.....after drinking the raw smoothie for dinner I felt very tired and lay down and slept for about an hour.  I was worried that the fruit was going to be an issue for my body, and was wondering if that is why I was feeling so tired....but this was more of a detox kind of tired....and while I lay mostly asleep I could feel things relaxing and letting go in my body, could feel passages open up and drain......somewhere......my head and down my spine....so it was good.  When I went out to pick up my son from his kick boxing dojo I left a bit early and made a stop at the local store that need not be named....I was wanting more bananas, kiwi and some strawberries, and was happy to see they had some decent heads of romaine also, so I got 2 of those, and some avocadoes.....and found yacon syrup.  I have been wanting to try it since I cannot do concentrated sugars much....it has a mild molasses like flavor....will use it in my next batch of almond milk which I will make tomorrow.  I was going to make green juices for tomorrow....but am still feeling tired....will make those maybe tomorrow night and just do smoothies again in the morning.  All in all it was a good day.  So happy that I am staying raw and staying away from bread.  Will work on the salad part...except it's one of my favorites and they sell it for a very good price....can easily skip the grated cheese....often take it out....but I like the boiled egg.  And the bleu cheese dressing.  sigh.  But no worries......all in good time....

time to go up to bed and read.....kitty has to come up too.....he likes it sometimes.....wondering how much reading I will be able to do before I fall asleep....not enough....

bon soir et bons reves
ciao bellas!

IS TODAY THE DAY? DY6WK6BLK1

Yesterday was a good day, until the late evening.  Except, nope, it wasn't.  I had my quart of romaine juice for breakfast, went out and took a nice long walk, came back and finished off my pizza (too good to waste and no one else would have eaten it).  Then later I had my green green juice, and was fine....until I had a fuss with someone who shall remain nameless, at bedtime.  I decided I was not tired so did not go to bed.  I came downstairs and was reading....then I realized (thought) I was hungry.  I had 2 small bowls of chocolate cheerios with milk and stevia.  I also ate some cake crumbs out of the pan.....about 3/4 of a cups worth.  So again, a very mixed day.  I woke up feeling the effects of the sugar.......why do I do this???  Was sluggish and grumpy and not at all wanting to go for a walk but it is another gorgeous day here in paradise, and I knew I needed it.  That I would feel better.  So the nameless one and I went for a great walk, about 5 miles....and after a mile or maybe it took two, I started feeling better.  Breakfast was......hmmm oh yeah, my quart of grapefruit juice, I hadn't drank it yet.  Then the walk.....on the walk I munched on a tiny apple that was growing wild along the trail....there were larger ones which I would have loved to have eaten, but they were high up on the trees.  I also ate about 5 wild dark purple grapes...sour but not too, with large seeds....very tasty and being the perverse oddity that I am, I crunched and ate the seeds as well. Went food shopping on the way home, had a banana, then at home I made some almond milk.  It is good but I have decided I will not sweeten it with stevia again.  I like stevia, more than most.....but I don't like the aftertaste of it in the almond milk.  It's still good, but I like sweetening it with dates or maple syrup more.  So one quart has 2 tablespoons of maple syrup in it, along with some coconut butter, a tablespoon of vanilla and 1/4 tsp of almond extract.  yum.  the other quart is the same, but it has only 1 tbsp of maple syrup (added later to try and change the flavor) and one dropperful of stevia.  I drank some of each...........about 16 ounces total...  then made some guacamole with 1.5 avocados, some small orange tomatoes, some poblano pepper and some lime juice.  Oh and!  I made something yummy with my almond pulp.  I added oil to it, and salt and pepper..and voila....mashed potatoes.  That is what it tastes like to me.  I was thinking of using olive oil, but I put a bit in my hand for a taste, and it sort of bites the back of my throat.  I didn't want to use that...so I used the rest of my coconut oil (which is not the same as coconut butter), and a bit of sunflower oil.  Salt.  Pepper.  Yum.  Now I need to get some mushrooms and marinate them to have with this.  Would be good with some chives too.  May chop up some more poblano and put in....can put in lots of things.  So I had a bit of that earlier, with some of the aforementioned orange tomatoes....then later, I had the guacamole.  Trying to stay 100% raw today.  No reason why I shouldn't.  Later I will have either a salad, a green smoothie or some type of juice.  I got some grapefruit today that have skins that are more orange than any I have seen.  My last grapefruit were not what I was expecting, I should have known considering that store always has these kind, but on the outside they looked like pink grapefruit, and I swear the sign said they were, but they were not pink and they had very thick skins, pith.  I ran them through my juicer, with lots of the pith on them and of course they were good, but I was wanting pink grapefruit juice.  Hopefully these ones will be pink inside.  To bounce back to the guacamole I ate it with some flax crackers I had made a while ago....can't even remember how long ago.  Love it that they keep so well.
Ate another banana.........had a bit of mixed greens with salad dressing for dinner....not a raw dressing but good for now....tasted the cooked dinner I made my family.....but didn't eat it eat it...did eat a little bit....but it didn't make me crave anything....so today is ending on a good note.  Definitely 95% or more raw today.  Now to take a shower and go to bed.
ciao bellas!

JUICE DY5WK6BLK1

Yesterday my main goal was to not have any sugar....which I did not.  I had a green smoothie for breakfast, and nibbled on some almonds, then later around 3pm I had some wild salmon salad...it was very good, felt very good to my body.  In the evening I made a pizza and ate half of it.  Made the crust from scratch, had mushrooms, poblano peppers, juan flamme tomatoes from our garden and some onion on it.  It was very tasty but today I feel a bit bleah and have too much phlegm.  The plague of my existance. (One of them anyways...) I got up and made 3 quarts of juice.  1 is grapefruit with a bit of orange, 1 is straight romaine, which I just finished (my fave!) and the 3rd is all green with a full bunch of parsley, 1 cucumber, 1 kale leaf, some romaine, some celery....a bit strong but good.  so I have had the romaine juice (and now I really need to go pee.....again!)  Ah, much better.   Feeling tired today.  And my tongue has a funny coating/taste on it.....not sure what is up with that....but.....today's goal is to be 100% raw.  I was going to say, to have no bread, but that is the main thing that keeps me from being 100% raw.  I have my juice, we have some yummy fuji apples, some nicely ripe bananas, some kiwi, good salad greens, avocado, tomato, kale....almonds.  I should soak some almonds for almond milk.  ok...I will do that.  right now.

Watching some Dan McDonald (the Life Regenerator) videos...Dave the Raw trucker on there, this guy Bill, and from another source, watched a video of Sunny Griffin, ex-super model who is 70 yrs old and looking great.  So got my dose of inspiration.  It's a beautiful day....time to soak some almonds and get in a bit of sun bathing.

Will let you know how wonderfully raw my day is.......update later......also going to take a lovely walk.

DAY4WK6BLK1 STARTING OVER AGAIN

I cannot believe that September is 2/3's over and this is only my 4th blog post.  But as you know, I got off track.  I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, feeling eh....and realizing I really need to stop the sugar.  Just quit.  It is like I am sticking pins into my self....doing bad voo doo to myself....it is worse than I realize.  Today I had a banana, some almonds, a green smoothie, an apple, some cheetos mix (had doritos, cheetos, pretzels...ugh) a cheese sandwich, a bowl of dark choc granola with milk, a piece of pumpkin pie my son made, a piece of sourdough bread toasted with butter, some cooked potatoes.  so a real mix.  You can see that the intent is there, but the follow through is totally lacking.  I realized I have been stressing out because my mil and her husband are coming.......and I feel like our house is a bit of a mess...and it is a big house, and I hate to clean (though I will) and there are things we need to get done that we haven't done.  I need to call the carpet cleaning people and get the carpets cleaned........they are full of stains...my stove/oven is a mess......I was wanting to be a raw goddess looking and feeling great when they got here........I still have time...but it is a kind of pressure I am putting on myself, the kind I always fail at.   I can rise to challenges.....but not this kind.
But I am starting over.  I am going to think.  About it all.  And relax....and make good choices...and cut out the sugar completely.  I didn't mention that I also had 3 tootsie roll pops today.  cherry ones.  yeah.  I know.
I have almost 2 weeks to feel better, to do better...I look ok, don't look super haggard or anything but I still don't have the calm, glow and joy of eating a better diet.  I also am doing this for my next birthday...that was the initial thought that started this all...and I do so want to be a better self by then.  Lose the weight, the bad habits, gain clarity and joy.  Sugar makes me think all kinds of negative depressed thoughts....keeps me from connecting with others.....my sister called me...I haven't called her back.....I haven't called my mom in weeks, so.....This is almost 1/6th over...meaning I have 5 blocks of 7 weeks to go.....or 35 weeks.  7 weeks is 49 days.  Alot can happen in 49 days.  It is now 1:30am I should get back to bed....when I got up I had yukky poo....stinky and runny.......so....here is to happy thoughts, eating good food, getting things done.
I will be back tomorrow.  Also, I didn't go to the gym or do anything outside all week......that has got to change...the weather has been gorgeous.

ciao bellas!  bon soir et bons reves!

FRESH TOMATO JUICE DY6WK3BLK1

We have alot of tomato plants in our garden....20 to be exact....luckily for us they didn't produce prodigious amounts of tomatoes...we would have been overwhelmed.  As it is, I went out yesterday and brought in at least 10 lbs of tomatoes..maybe more...most of them are decent but a rather bland....(luckily some of them have really great flavor)...I took most of the large blander ones and blanched them to get their skins off, then cored them...I was looking in my cookbooks for tomato sauce recipes..found a really good sounding one in The New Vegetarian Epicure by Anna Thomas....but I didn't fancy spending all that time with bubbling sauce and didn't really want to cook the tomatoes either...so I squeezed the juice out by squeezing all of the tomatoes up as much as I could with my hands, then put them in the inner plastic bowl of my salad spinner as it has little horizontal spaces that the juice could go through but not most of the pulp....then strained that through a mesh strainer to get out all of the seeds...and put the remaining tomato pulp in with the tomatillos from my garden that I had cooked up earlier with some onion, and jalapeno.  So...that is going to be used to make enchiladas for the family tomorrow...and I got three quarts of very good tasting tomato juice.

This morning I made a yummy banana bread cake....using 7 ripe bananas, a box of chocolate almond granola, sunflower oil, rice milk...quite good.  I had 2 oranges for breakfast, cake and ice cream (a very yummy organic vanilla ice cream) for lunch, and to make up a bit, only tomato juice for dinner.  Oh and I also had a green smoothie.  My husband made this literally killer smoothie with tons seriously tons of kale in it...I can take most things but this was too strong for me, so I added a peach and a banana to it, then I could drink it.  He had fruit with his also...but not enough to balance out that kale.

After making the cake, dealing with the tomatoes and running around town, I then cooked some chicken for the family, and made a cheesecake.  I had made one for my 17 yr olds birthday....put alot of lemon zest and juice in it....made it with coconut sugar...it was soooo good..........had to make another.

So.....yes.  That was my day.  Oops until my bedtime snack.  I ate a cold hamburger with catsup & mustard.  Hey!  I was hungry!

ciao bellas!

Was down 1.5 lbs today when I got up around 10 am.

Curious to see what tomorrow will be.....

HIGH RAW DY5WK3BLK1

I still have not made it back to 100% raw.  Lack of sleep, bit of a cold, dinner out with friends....and need I say it...I like cooked food.  But I am staying very high raw....with little variations.  Today I had a quart of fresh made grapefruit juice, then Chipotle for lunch..it was just a very small amount of rice (like 2 tbsp), pinto beans, fresh salsa, hot salsa, corn salsa, guacamole and lettuce.  I get it in the tortilla but I never eat the tortilla....don't know why I don't get it in a bowl.....just don't.  Did eat some chips also.  And I have 2 new lovely cookbooks which I added to my collection....one by Sophie Dahl, granddaughter of Roald Dahl who wrote many fun books, called "Miss Dahl's Voluptuous Delights...lots of great recipes in there...and then  I also bought "The New Mediterranean Diet Cookbook"...also excellent.

Today has been a wonderful day....blue sky and cool temperatures (in the 70's as opposed to the 90's) very nice change of pace....very much looking forward to enjoying the next few days.  We went to the Farmers Market, got some more peaches, some kale, basil, cucumbers and sweet corn.  Which shall be cooked just enough to heat it through, but not cook it much. 2-3 minutes tops.  Also getting lots of lovely tomatoes out of the garden.

After the Farmers Market we took a walk along the creek, circled back to town and walked downtown a bit...my favorite walk.  We also stopped at the library, I had a book on hold..Herbert Shelton;s 'Fasting Can Save Your Life'.  Looking forward to reading that.  Also got another yoga dvd...this one by Rodney Yee.  I have yet to actually do any of it....but I am getting there.....I also bought a lovely tie dyed shirt and a skirt but I think I will exchange the skirt for another shirt...and got a long sleeved tie dyed onesie for my nephews new little girl.

Then we did a bit of food shopping, came home...chased the boys off of their computers....by...taking them to the movies!!  But at least they are out of the house.  Now to go pick more tomatoes, prop up the plants which are totally falling over and read Dr. Shelton's book.

And eat some red grapes.  yum. The other day I ate an entire container of champagne grapes...my my they are so good!

ciao bellas!

HAPPY STATE OF MIND DY3WK2BLK1

Okay.....back to basics...today will be 100% raw.  Yesterday and previous days have not been.....for various reasons....oh whatever...really don't need to get into it....the moment is now.  Today I have had lots of water...contemplated doing a water fast today, but I have all of these fruits and veggies that I need to eat up.  Water until 10:40 am and now I am eating raspberries. yum.

Working this program of transformation....I am letting go of judgemental, negative, impatient thoughts....when I am driving...I focus on being happy, enjoying the weather, the view, enjoying just being, and let go of impatience and annoyance.....telling myself I have plenty of time, there is nothing to be gained in negativity and it is so much nicer to stay in a good space.  I had gotten into way too much negativity, esp while driving, but working on this has made me realize what a habit I have of being negative.  wow.  So working on keeping a happy positive state of mind all of the time, about all things, even when things are challenging.  Great stuff!

I am going to the library today to check out yet another book (which is on cd so I can download and listen to it) yay!  This one is ...Peak: How Great Companies Get Their Mojo from Maslow by Chip Conley

I found it on the en'theos website..Brian Johnson's website...he is the one behind The Philospher's Notes....may have blogged about this already...very excited to get his course.  And now, I will use the day doing his or his wife's course.

ciao bellas

WORKING ON THROUGH DAY1WK3BLK1

I have fallen into my usual pattern, of not quite doing what I want.....starting out great and then fading away.  And then just disappearing out of embarrassment as dang, I've done it again!  What?  Nothing!  Oh. Right.  But this time, I am going to keep going...not keep going as I have been going, but get back on track, which means 100% raw or very high raw, exercise, mindfulness, envisioning where I want to go, and actually getting there!  I am now up 1 lb instead of down 2 lbs which is where I would like to be.  And if I don't change something, then I will not get the results that I want.  I was going to say aim for, but since I stopped aiming for a bit....that didn't sound right.  But I am refocusing and regrouping and have found some great things along the way.  One is Brian Johnson's en'theos Academy for Optimal Living...he's the guy who does the Philospher's Notes...and I am going to take his online course Optimal Living 101 for $20 (lowest suggested price) and also Alexandra Jaye Johnson's Rock Your Goddess Life. for $30 again the lowest suggested price.  Both look to be excellent.....now I have to find the time...I also want to start stretching and doing yoga, along with my 3Xweek trips to the gym.  I will just have to start getting up earlier.  I can do that.

So, the last 3 days have been not bad eating, but some cooked food for sure, a bit (just a wee bit...I don't need much at all) of coffee and chocolate, not enough sleep and recovering from the kidney/candida thing which is a bit fatiguing....and I am not sure entirely gone.  It is much better.....but seems to want to stick around.  Luckily not all sugars make it flare up and  be bothersome.

I was supposed to go to the gym last night, but instead, I went shopping.  I don't go shopping awhole lot, so I went to the TJMaxx that is a little ways away, and found some nice tops for fall, solid color, scoop necked, long sleeved, nice fitting, jersey type fabric in great colors.  One is a sort of dun color which is a dark taupe, one is a chocolate brown, one a persimmon reddish-orange and one is black.  The last three have a satin ribbon edging around the scoop neck...which is a nice touch.  Adrienne Vittadini.  And I bought a pair of nice yoga pants....black with a wide tie dyed waistband...nice touch...they fit, but will look better when I drop 10 pounds.  I was hoping to find some good vanilla extract and almond extract as well, but there wasn't any.  The store seems to be inbetween seasons...not yet getting ready for Christmas......but soon enough there will be more stuff in stock...will give it 4 weeks and check again.  You can get some really good quality Nielsen-Massey vanilla for about half the cost. 

Today I made a large green smoothie for breakfast....1 peach, 1 orange, 2 bananas, 4 handfuls of greens, water...and 2 tbsp of the NuDe.  Then I had a pint of raspberries, which reminds me I need to get more as today is the last day to get 4 pints for $5.  organic.  2 more bananas, one of them on 2 slices of toasted sprouted grain bread with some raw almond butter.  The ususal.

Tonight is another gym night....and I will actually go.....looking forward to it...but have to be quick.   which is not fun....I need time to do everything that I like to do but I also have to pick up my boys after their kickboxing class...maybe he since I just remembered it's just 'boy', can take the bus home.  That would be good.  And sigh.  Dinner tonight for them...oh yeah, it will be burgers....L is already taking care of that.  That will be easy.  Last night was beans, the night before was chicken fajitas.  I also made tuna pasta and a cake for them...so they would have lunches.  Can't exactly throw carrots at them...one did all raw for 10 days...got very hungry...as I was too busy to keep up with his appetite and the foods that he likes was a bit limited.  Not terribly, but still....harder to feed raw food to a kid who won't eat avocadoes, tomatoes, red bell peppers  or mushrooms.  He did well though, and never complained.  It was great that he did 10 days.  Said he felt better...but he was hungry and kept losing weight so after 10 days he jumped back into cooked food.  Finished off the leftovers that were meant for the entire family for another dinner.  okay!  but he is lean and mean and very physically active and only just turned 15....so.....just par.

Time to go out and run around......buy food.....get warm.....do stuff.  ie lunch time.

JE M'EN FOU!!! DY4WK2BLK1

Yay it's Friday, the weekend's almost here!  I made romaine juice in my blender today....it was faster...a bit thinner as I needed to add some water to get it blended, but it was still very fine.  Strained it through my nutmilk bag and I was good to go.  I was tired and got up a bit later than I wanted to, so this was faster to make and clean up.  A win win.  I have come to the conclusion that my kidneys are the problem...probably as sometimes happens, got some candida up in there.....which means I need to get some Primal Defense by Garden of Life...usually takes care of it.  It's not as bad as sometimes, but it does explain the fatigue and crabbiness for no reason.  Hope that does it...I am getting tired of this.  And that is why the smoothies make it worse.......they feed the candida..which is having a party in my kidneys...but I gotta tell ya candida..you are busted and the party will soon be over.  Damn bugs. 

So.....eating is a bit off today....romaine juice, bananas, dried coconut, almonds....will get a salad for lunch.  Wish I could get another yummy salad like I had when I went out for lunch with my oldest son (28 yrs old).  It was mixed greens, arugula and spinach, with cucumber, avocado, mango, jalapeno, carrots and those flat sweet pea pods....they put it all together, throw on some dressing, dump it out onto a cutting board, chop it all up, put it back in the bowl and voila...it was delicious.  The avocado, mango, jalapeno combo was a good one!  Will definitely have to try that at home!

I am thinking of buying some shoes.  I need some for fall (I do not have alot of shoes....lucky if I buy 2 pair a year).....looking at some El Naturalista clogs on Zappos.....Iggdrasil....come in cool colors, look comfy yet stylish.....a bit expensive, but now adays if you don't pay more, you get crap.  But I also want to get some other things.......using my HSA money....and I don't care!!!  I won't spend it otherwise...never go to the doctor...this is free money for me. (my company gives it to me) and if I end up paying taxes on it...I do.  Je m'en fou!  So...Loren Lockman's course for $295 plus truly raw almonds for $74 (15 lbs), and shoes.  That is what I want to do.  I love this...I get it twice yearly and I usually spend it on supplements...but this year...it's shoes.  raw almonds.  and maybe the course or maybe some new clothes or a vacation!!!  A plane ticket!  That's the ticket...dream big.  The gov doesn't spend my tax money on what I think they should, I refuse to not spend this money on what I want...as I can't let it go to waste, now can I? 

IN THE GROOVE DY3WK2BLK1

Wow, except for my organic 70% dark chocolate, yesterday was 100% raw.  What was really cool, is how good I felt when at the gym.  Light and energetic...and really felt that natural raw high.  Also, when I got home, I only ate some small red tomatoes and then some large flakes of dried coconut.  And that was it!  I did 'feel' a bit hungry when I went to bed, and it took me a little while to fall asleep, (once I shut the door on my snoring like a logger son, it was much easier) and my hunger wasn't really true hunger, so ignorable.

Today I have another quart of organic romaine juice....cost $3.00 and a quart of green smoothie made with 2 bananas, 1 peach, 1 nectarine, 1 orange, water, and 3 large handfuls of mixed greens.  I also brought 2 bananas. 

I am trying to drink a large glass of water first thing in the morning....I didn't drink it first first thing, not until I got to work, but I was thirsty and it was good.  Trying to drink more water....though I drink a fair bit.  Weight was down 1 pd...so 186....I have been a bit up and down since day 1 of this new plan...but it's going down now...I look forward to seeing 179...haven't seen that number in a long while.

Got one of the books I had placed on hold from the library....Lynn Grabhorn's "Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting"...basically a law of attraction book, but it comes highly recommended and what little I had time to read last night looked good.  I can't wait to get back to it!  It's good but not as good as I thought it might be.  I like Sonia Ricotti's book better...but still it is another piece of the puzzle...another bit of info helping move me in the direction I want to go in.

I was feeling very tired when I got home from work....don't think I can do fruit smoothies for a while....even with greens added.  So I had a piece of sprouted grain bread with mayo and tomato, then 2 toasted pieces with pesto...that along with a few more tomatoes was my dinner.  Feel better now.....things will be fine with time.  Today was 99% raw....or 90% raw....that's close enough for me.  I am doing it.  Had a spell where I was feeling....uncomfortable, hungry for something other than what was available...don't know if the toast helped this craving or going poop.....but it's gone now.  Pooped twice today, am and pm....good schedule.  If I am hungry further, coconut flakes will be my treat...and some more water.  Not much to report today, except that I am doing well, and pleased with my progress. Didn't have any chocolate today, and didn't buy any when I could have.  Don't think I will give it up entirely though I may.  I am still excited about my future.....about my present....working on bringing more of what I want into my life and letting go of negativity.  As I have worked on this, I have become much less negative (though today on the way to work...not exactly a good example) but I whenever I find myself thinking negative thoughts of any kind, I recognize them for the auto-pilot habit that they are and choose to stop...to drop them...and replace them immediately with happy positive thoughts and feelings...it's a work in progress.........it's fun!


Got more romaine, dandelion greens and kale today....will have some more yummy green juices tomorrow.

WHAT WILL THE EVENING BRING DY2WK2BLK1

Today is starting out well, I made 2 quarts of green juice this morning, although I am afraid of one of them, haven't even tasted it yet.  One is a quart of straight romaine juice which I love and drank right up.  The other is a bit of romaine juice with a full bunch of parsley, a full bunch of dandelion greens and a few carrots.  And that's it.  (Update...the juice was tooo strong...and sat out...so I dumped it...should have put it in the fridge to finish later, next time I will)  I have had the romaine juice, 4 plums, some raw almond butter straight off the fork, some water and a few raw almonds...and of course, some dark organic chocolate.  It is 3pm...and I am thinking about trying the other juice...need something...and I have 1 plum left.  I may or may not go to the gym tonight....don't want to mess up my husband's 'fucking' schedule....oh I know that is bad....but my libido is in the toilet and his bad sinus breath doesn't help either.  And the fact that we have a schedule...but then, what's a poor man to do if he has to take all of the initiative.  ah yes.  Can you tell I am so looking forward to this?  sigh.  Won't even go into this story...but he is about the nicest guy you'd ever meet......so that's not it at all....just....oh nevermind.  tmi.

So I can tell I have to do some serious thinking and planning to get around myself once I leave work...this evening.  What should I eat?  The banana nectarine smoothie was really great last night, but too sweet...I was tired feeling and looking this morning.  It didn't set off the candida..it's more related to my distressed liver.  Still in need of healing.  So....not sure if I should have one of those..with greens...so it's a green smoothie...that might balance it out and make it okay to my system...but is it what I want/need?  Will have to ponder that one.........

Determined to do this right......and again...getting all of the right emails in my inbox...Evelyn Lim of Abundance Tapestry sent out the perfect one yesterday........about Fear of Success..

http://www.abundancetapestry.com/how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-success/?utm_source=getresponse&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=abundancetapestry&utm_content=Overcome+the+Subconscious+Fear+of+Success+-+Link+Fixed%21

Here is the link...hopefully I inserted it correctly.

So, have been all raw today, except for my organic dark chocolate...went to the gym, had a great workout...lots of energy, felt and still feels really good..it's that raw high...gotta love it.  I did 20 min on the stair stepper, leg machine, 2 different arm machines, and an hour on the treadmill at a very fast pace, then 3 hot steamy sessions in the steam room, with cold showers in between....then another cold shower in the locker room, wash hair, etc....I always do cold showers after the steam room because they do feel so good, and also so I don't leave there looking like a lobster.  I get really red in the steam room as I make it really hot...love it!

Came home and so far have just eaten some small red tomatoes...not sure what else I will eat...but I don't want to eat the sprouted grain bread anymore.....bought some more romaine and some avocados to ripen and tomorrow I will make more yummy romaine juice!

ciao bellas!

NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK W/MYSELF DY1WK2BLK1

So here it is, the usual self-sabotage.....not keeping in touch with my self, and, my ego/mind is just running over me, because I am letting it.  Time to go deep and see what the heck is going on...

Today I brought to work a quart of green juice that I made on Sunday, and didn't try and drink it until around 3pm, after it had been out at room temp all day.  Air conditioned room temp, but still room temp.  Needless to say, it was not good anymore.  At the beginning of the day I had water and a bit of fresh romaine juice from 2 small heads of romaine...it was delish.  At work I had a couple of plums, some almonds, some organic dark chocolate, more almonds, another plum, water, some bites of raw almond butter, then I made a drink out of raw Perfect Food from Garden of Life and some colostrum I have...and a teaspoon of maca.  That was good and fueled me through my gym workout.  Then I came home around 8pm, made a smoothie with ripe bananas and nectarines and water.  Very yum.  Had about 16 oz.  Then I had 2 pieces of toasted sprouted grain bread with mayo and tomato from our garden.  Then I cooked chicken for the boys, and ate some.  yah.  And I baked some steak fries for them and had some of those.  Now I have a stomach ache.  And a soul ache. So time to go upstairs and go inwards and figure out the way forward....what is going on here.  This is not what I want.

I am a raw goddess.......but some part of me is rebelling........the usual part....this time...it will be resolved.  I am no longer willing to live this.

Tomorrow will be a juice and smoothie day.  I bought more romaine to juice and have dandelion greens, parsley, kale, celery, cucumbers, broccoli, carrots, another chiogga beet, and lots of fruit to make smoothies with.  Juice in the day, smoothies for the evening.

And now, I have some work to do......

ciao bellas!
Alessandra

LAST NIGHTS DREAM ~DAY 7WK1BLK1

Or really this mornings dream....most good dreams happen in the morning...this dream had a lot of things in it, pretty much everything that I have been dealing with.....my first memory of the dream is finding out that my 'mother' has moved my bedroom.  It is now a large open room as in open on one side...only 3 walls, that has been painted a nice shade of bright orange and saffron.....I am upset because it is not 'my' room, it is new and unfamiliar and I have no privacy.  The room is at the end of a street....an urban main street...like a downtown street....of a large city.....not alot of traffic and the like....more people...cars aren't in this dream...as I reflect...it feels to me like a San Francisco street....more alternative types....as I am trying to come to terms with this new space....various things happen.....I find a young streetwise man in my closet...turns out it is where he usually meets people to do a deal....drug deal...I think this is my latent interest in smoking pot....getting high...I still like to do it everynow and then but don't actively seek it out.....later I am walking down the street....and I pass by two women who look to be in their early 60's...in good shape and as I pass them one asks the other "Is this a raw day" and the other replies "No....its' too...something don't remember exactly what she said...but today was not going to be an all raw day",......as I am walking around I am getting used to the idea of this new space being my space...where I live...and think. "a bicycle would be good to have",  and then at some point I am in this new space, and I notice the colors...the orange and saffron and think that even if my mother didn't ask me about this change, that at least she painted it in colors that she thought I would like (and I did like)...and I am back in the space and a large group of people stop by...dressed kind of in an India Indian fashion even though they are not Indian...more ashram types...and one of the women...older definitely in her 60's wants some tea and she asks me if I have any ...xyz tea...and I can't make out what exactly she is saying...so I ask her to say it again, and again I can understand everything except the type of tea she wants...we do this about three times and she gives up....these people feel like they are taking over my space a bit, as if it is their space also, as if they were the previous owners, possibly still own it....and they have children with them who are climbing up a rope lattice ladder type thing up onto a wooden platform which is next to my space..and I worry that they might fall....but they seem capable and there is a young man who is watching over them..helping them..so it's okay....and then I am trying to find something to wear, in a closet of clothes that are familiar yet not...and my17 yr old son comes in the dream and he is looking in this large mirror in the room complaining that it makes him look fat, and I look at myself in the mirror and I think the same thing....

this is all so very telling about so many things...things which I will go into later but I have to go...just wanted to get this down...will be back later...a very cool dream...

AAAH ROMAINE JUICE DY6WK1BLK1

Woke up around 8am....and was 1.5 pounds down from yesterday.  hmmm...good.  Washed my face, got dressed, let the cat out, and sat out in the morning sun for 20 minutes.  Then came in and started making juice.  First I had to clean my juicer as I didn't clean or use it after yesterday morning.  I did it the fast and easy way by pouring a half gallon of warm water through it while running it, and then ran a carrot through to get out any remaining stale bits.  And ready to go.  I started by juicing the usual bunch of parsley, dandelion greens and kale, I plan on making alot of juice this morning to see me through the entire day.  Yesterday I didn't have time to do that, (and there was the stinky juice debacle) and when I got back to the house in the mid-afternoon, I did the fun thing, the easy thing, and made the cantelope dream.  Not exactly juice, but it was raw and it was liquid.  But it was also sweet enough for my candida to raise up like the devil, smiling, and thanking me for the sugar, while my leg lesion itched and the fissures on my feet widened.  I even got one in the thick part of my sole near my toes.   That is mean.  I don't understand this except I do know what makes it happen.....and this latest torture started with the nasty juice to which I added lots of carrots and apples to try and tame it.  No such luck with that, and all those sugars....sigh.  But it could be worse....time to go buy more spackle.

After the parsley, dandelion and kale, I juiced 2 cucumbers, and dumped it all into a giant glass measuring cup (thank you pampered chef) and made some romaine juice which I am drinking by itself...I love straight romaine juice.  I have 3 large heads of romaine and I just may juice them all as I want some in the main juice but I also want to just drink some.  They need to do celebrity ads with romaine juice...it makes me think of milk (only way better) and it is much better for you.  Romaine juice.....it does a body good!

You have to have organic, really good organic romaine for it to really taste like milk...and I know that sounds like huh?  no way, but when it sits in mouth on my tongue....it feels/tastes to me much like milk...only better.  '

I am drinking it out of a champagne glass.....it is as good as champagne, as good as gold.  I love glasses and dishes...especially smaller versions or unusual versions....I saw these great French juice glasses...that were small, smaller and smallest.  I am craving them....I want to buy them though we have no room in our cupboard for them....time to make some room!  And I saw these cool espresso cups with saucers that I love ...especially that they come with saucers.  And I like japanese ceramic bowls.....the traditional not the commercial....have a fair number....but with a houseful of boys to men.....sigh.  Actually they don't break all that much stuff, but with my special dishes....any is too much.  But dang if I didn't break one of my favorite japanese bowls the other day.  ooh la la la.....hah! 

So, decided to add some chiogga beet to my green drink.....very pretty beet...reminds me of a radish...just like turnips...they ain't anything but white radishes.  Don't really care for radishes, though they are good for you.  Good vermifuges.......some time I will tell you my daikon radish story.

So...chiogga beets....where did they come from, what are they?  They are an Italian heirloom beet.....
The chioggia beet came from the Italian coastal town of Chioggia, near Venice. It's been around since the early 19th-century. It tastes just like regular purple beets, maybe a little sweeter. The skin is a hot pink/fuchsia color, and when sliced open, the inside has beautiful pink and white stripes. Like any other beet, it can be prepared the same way; steamed, sauteed, roasted, and pickled. The greens are also edible. Sadly, the beautiful stripes fade when the beet is cooked.

SATURDAY DY5WK1BLK1 YEAH!

Okay!  Today is a totally awesome wonderful day!  It feels like an Indian summer day out there.....warm but the breeze is nice and you can just sense fall peeking around the corner....  I need to get back outside.  So, I am doing juice today and doing it well.  But that nasty sprout juice just keeps on biting.  I finally had to put it down.  Down the drain that is.   I made an awesome green juice today, 2 beautiful quarts, it is 1 full bunch of parsley, a full bunch of dandelion greens, a full bunch of dino kale, 6 skinny carrots to push the greens through (my juicer tends to get a bit clogged up if I do lots of leafy greens) 1 cucumber, 1 head of romaine lettuce and 4 large outer stalks of celery.  It is good!!  And I thought it's goodness could tame the badness of the sprout juice, but that sprout juice was just incorrigible....so I put dumped it down the drain, unfortunately I mixed an entire quart of my lovely green juice with it first....and lost all of that as well.

But I went to the Farmers Market and the greengrocers and got some more lovely things....lovely ripe peaches, fresh peaches and cream sweet corn, more kale, some lovely striped heirloom tomatoes, more parsley, more romaine and some lovely chiogga beets.  Not sure what chiogga beets are other than a lovely red color (lighter than regular beets)...less purpley...should make some fine juice.  I have incidentally eaten a few small things today,..a lovely yellow cherry tomato...a piece of yummy cantelope and I unthinkingly ate a small piece of carrot at a picnic.  But I am good on just juice today....I can tell I will get through the day with flying colors....I had some great thoughts last night as I lay in bed falling asleep...but they are lost now...

Time to make more juice and get back outside!!
Ciao me lovelies.....love lovely yah...lovely is the word of the day.

DAY 4 BLK 1 OF 7 WEEK 1 OF 6 ~ JUICE VACATION

If you've never had fresh green juice before you probably would not like it, but actually it's not that bad.  This being a quart of cucumber, broccoli and romaine juice.

I could drink it without anything else in it, but I am going to juice sprouts, carrots, and a couple of apples  to add in with it.  Maybe a zucchini also.  .... So...I next juiced a large maybe gallon container of mixed sprouts...alfalfa, radish and broccoli.  Tastes like concentrated sprouts with a radish bite.  It definitely needs something blended with it to mellow it out.  I would not drink much of this straight.  One small sip has got my stomach looking at me like.."what did you do?"  It feels very cleansing and purging.

Next, I juice 2 lbs of Bunny Luv carrots.  Sweet and delicious.  I poured that in with all of the previously made juice, it hardly made a dent.  The sprouts are definitely the dominating taste.  Come on apples!  But first, a bit of celery juice.  I want the colors of each to show up clearly, before they get tossed into the mix.  Ah, celery juice.  Tastes like celery.  Now the apple juice.  Granny Smith apples.  yum!  I was only going to juice 3 of them, but with the sprouts being all bad-ass I need all 6 of them.



 Hopefully I can drink all of this juice.  It's quite a bit.  3 quarts...and it's ok.  Not great.  But it's what's for juice today!


So that is how I started this day....but first, I got up, said good morning to everyone, pooped and went back to bed.  Before I went to the bathroom, I was lying in bed and my left shoulder was aching in the liver spot.  oh.  My liver still hasn't forgiven me for my birthday transgression (it was rather much) and it still hasn't completely recovered from the cedar oil poisoning of a year ago.  That was quite major. Seriously major.  So I have to be nice nice nice to it.  Good to my liver.  Good to myself.  After I went to the bathroom that pain went away.  good.  And then I took off all of my clothes and weighed myself which is my morning routine.  I am fortunate in that I usually poop shortly after waking.  I weighed....oh this is big..I never reveal this...but I don't care as much anymore...hmm..anyway, I weighed 187.  Down a pound and a half from yesterday.  I am 5'11" so I carry this weight quite well, except for looking like I am 3-4 months along.  So I was pleased with that, especially since I thought I had eaten a fair bit yesterday, late in the day, but I was hungry and ate good things.  But here is the strange part.  After sipping on all of these juices, just sipping, taking small tastes of each, I have pooped 2 more times...so I went upstairs and weighed myself again and I now weigh a half a pound more than earlier!  This is bizarre as you would think the matter that left would more than outweigh the little liquid that has gone in...but I swear sometimes weight comes and even goes, like magic.  As in losing 3 pounds overnight...which can happen.  ie weight before bed and weight upon rising....wierd...but whatever.  So now I am going to see if the apples have made the juice decently palatable, and then clean out the fridge, and then go out.  I need to get more yummy, luscious produce so I can make more yummy luscious juice!

Between my candida heel fissures and my liver in need of healing, I have more than enough motivation to juice.  Enjoy your day!

Just finished cleaning up the kitchen, pooped again...looks like last nights dinner...tomato skins in it.  yeh I know...tmi....   Put some almonds in water to soak for almond milk later, and making up my shopping list.  Hope I can find a nut milk bag without going online.  It is a nice cloudy day....cool...so different than yesterday which was hot and sunny and  nearly 100 degrees!

Now out and about for some adventure!

The day was good but I was tired today.  It wasn't until later this evening when I made some pesto with lots of garlic and had it on some sprouted grain toast, that I felt better.  And yes I know it bothered me yesterday, but I only had 1 slice....not 6.  And, Yes, I didn't do juice all day.  I did it til around 4 or 5pm  then I caved.  I bought this really yummy boutique granola when I was out, had that.  Also had a few corn chips...and a few soaked skinned almonds.  I did not drink all of my juice....only drank 1 quart of it.  I did have also the juice of a large fresh young coconut when I was out.....that was good...but I think I need to do only green juice...without carrots or apples.  My body doesn't seem to deal well with too much sugar right now....not a good sign, but also a sign that having straight green juices would be good.  So tomorrow, I start again, with green juices.  I bought 2 large heads of romaine lettuce, a thing of celery, 2 bunches of parsley, a large bunch of dino kale, a small red cabbage...I also bought 5 lbs of carrots and 2 bags of small, very nice looking apples, one granny smiths and one pink lady....will make juice for my boys with those.  I was thinking that perhaps what happened was the usual self sabotage....but don't really think so.  I think it was the carrots and apples that I had to add to my juice to counteract the biting radish sprouts.  I don't like radishes, watercress, anything that 'bites'....yet I do love hot spicy foods...jalapenos, etc.  It's a different kind of bite.  I found some red clover seeds for sprouting and bought a hemp bag that is going to be my nut milk bag.....so not entirely successful today, not what I aimed for, but overall a good day.

DAY 3~ WEEK ONE OF SEVEN ~ BLOCK ONE OF SIX~(42 WEEKS)

Another very good day.  It is strange...yesterdays post says it was posted on Thursday, which is today, and I know I was not up that late....wierd.  Today I had my green smoothie....made with 2 ripe peaches, an orange, 2 med bananas, 10 small strawberries, 4 handfuls of mixed greens and 2 tbsp of nutrient dense powder.  which is made with almonds, sunflower seeds, ground flax, hemp seeds, spirulina, psyllium powder nutritional yeast and cinnamon.  Also had some almonds, some Garden of Life raw greens powder, 1 tsp of maca, a small salad with a few slices of hard  boiled egg and a little bit of cheese...I was hungry today...for something not sweet, which my smoothie seemed to be...took me all day to finish it.  Then I went to the gym, came home, had 3 toasted pieces of sprouted grain toast with mayo, avocado (1 avo total) and Mrs Dashes Chipotle seasoning yum, 1 orange tomato (med smallish), then still feeling hungry or something I had 2 more pieces of sprouted grain toast with raw almond butter and banana slices.  hmmm..not sure if I needed all that...but did do alot today.

It was good at the gym. my work out was fueled by maca and chocolate and the raw greens powder...and music...today I was listening to George Harrison's Concert for Bangladesh...great songs on there....and later, when I was in the steam room I struck up a conversation with a young woman, who had a bit of a cough....and then she told me she also had had bv (bacterial vaginosis) something I know something about, so I was telling her all these alternative, natural ways to deal with it, told her it was a sign of an imbalance and to avoid alcohol and sweets for a while til things were back in balance, take alot of probiotics, eat plain yogurt. etc......when she'd had enough of the steam room she left saying "thank you goddess" to me as she left.  sweet....so sweet. love it that she said that.  I also exchanged a nice smile and namaste hand greeting with this older Nepali man who comes to the gym with his son.  I just find him to have nice energy.....but perhaps he is a bit simple too...not really sure, but his son noticed that he likes me (in a friendly way I would hope) and seems to try and keep him away from me.  I have never overtly tried to be friendly with him...but have smiled at him and he was in the steam room once when I was in there....anyways...it was nice to exchange that greeting...I don't think he speaks any English.
I am trying to be very circumspect, yet friendly...don't want the old man to get any ideas (which I don't think he should but not sure why the son thinks his interest in me is bad...I only say this because one day he did choose to use a treadmill right next to the one I was on.....and while I didn't really interact with him, I was aware he was there and was a bit amused by him....anyhoo it was after this that I noticed his son seemed to keep him far away from where I am in the gym...I am not trying to make this into something it is not.....just find it curious.  I like to be friendly to people, like people from other countries....but want to be respectful also.  It is no big deal....just one of those curious things that keep your brain tied up a bit....but I don't necessarily need to understand or know what's up with it....just let it be. as. it. is.

So...tomorrow starts 4 days of juice...and 4 days of good times...I can tell I am not all that resolved to do this...so don't know if I will keep to it...but if I just remember how wonderful my last bit of juice fasting was...I will be inspired to do it properly...not mess it up.

My first juice of the day tomorrow is going to be a hodge podge...not sure what I have around, but do have greens, carrots, apples, parsley if it's not gone bad, cucumbers ,broccoli, celery....should be okay.

Then later I will go out and get lots of greens, romaine lettuces, kale, more parsley, dandelion greens, I want to do some straight green juices.  Maybe all straight green juices.  I am also going to try juicing my sprouts.

So onwards and upwards..so looking forward to enjoying the next 4 days...and now it's time for bed.

ciao bellas!

Back again......couldn't sleep...lots of phlegm...drainage, pain in elbow joint (typical of my candida crap) and I have painful fissures in my heels.....shit.  I think it's the bread.  It didn't used to do this to me....but I do think that must be it.  More reason to go 100%.  These dang heel fissures are like cuts....deep cuts...and they hurt and are unsightly....I cover them up with coverstick...even put it into them like spackle...it seems to help them heal a bit.....but damn I wish they would just fricking leave and never ever come back!  Sick of them.  Those and the circular lesion just above my right ankle on the outside of my leg.  Red and itchy.....feh!  I wanted motivation to keep me juicing....there it is.  Also found out getting another $500 put into my HSA account....that will help buy some produce.  Best medicine in the world.

DAY 2~ WEEK ONE OF SEVEN ~ BLOCK ONE OF SIX~ (42 WEEKS)

I am very excited about my life right now........which is how I always am when I am at the beginning of anything...which is how we all are....the thing is, to keep it going when it gets old.  I am not so very good at that, Gemini that I am....however, I have a plan on how to deal with that as well...at that is....keep the beginners mind...and also keep things new....exciting....by doing new things, trying new things...learning new things.....and keeping my dream, my goal, my vision of my life in front of me, in the front of my mind.  I've had 2 good days...still not 100% raw, but very good days overall.....yesterday I had only 3 small squares of the organic dark chocolate, my awesome green smoothie with the NuDe (nutrient dense) powder added, some grapes, some crackers (only a few...Back to Nature), almonds, then I went home and had one piece of toasted sprouted grain bread with half of a very yummy avocado on it, with mayo and some Mrs. Dashes Chipotle seasoning sprinkled on top.  We went out to the Farmers Market and I had one yummy vegan spicy tamale with spicy vegan green chile sauce....very good...but I think it made me tired a bit...corn.  hmmm

Then later on at home having a late dinner with the family, of salmon and fresh awesome corn on the cob I had just a nibble of the salmon and 1 1/2 ears of corn with butter and salt.  yum.

Just before bed I ate 2 heel (end) pieces of the sprouted grain bread toasted with some coconut butter (the kind that uses all of the coconut), stevia powder and cinnamon on them.  Yum Yum.

Then I brushed my teeth and went to bed......have lost a bit of weight...don't have a ton to lose....10 pounds would be good, 20 would be really good...and 30 is maybe more than I need to lose, maybe not.  While I am into the weight loss....don't like this bit of flab around my middle, I am more into the energy and the natural high of eating raw....that is the reallllly good part.

I got Sarma Melgailis's book, Living Raw Food, at the library and read a bit of it last night.  I really like her take on it all, and love it that she is not letting herself be bound by labels....she will eat meat if she wants...but she prefers to eat mainly a raw vegan diet.  But she allows herself options...and she is into the quality of the food.....and how good it is for you...so she has a good little article about soy, refers to canola oil as an industrial oil, which it is...not good for consumption, and gives us the dirt on the new 'pasteurization' of  almonds...they use this chemical......which is a carcinogen....shit.  I don't think I can afford to buy the imported truly raw almonds, and while I am closer to CA than many people, I am not close enough to be able to try and do some back of the shed deals with almond growers.  However, I do know some people in CA who may be able to hook me up...but dang.  What to do.....some things you just can't worry about???  More on this in the future...need to do some research.

Also got my New Mediterranean Diet Cookbook...looks very good, but I kept falling asleep while trying to read it.......will have time over the weekend...taking Friday and Monday off...and my hubby will be out of town...so my time will be mostly all mine!!! love that.   And that is when I will do the 4 day juice fast.  Not because he is gone, but  because I will have the time!

ciao bellas!

Also, Joe Cross of the movie "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead"  which is so awesome by the way and Netflix has it as an instant download...so watch it!  He has a website....um... http://www.jointhereboot.com/    Join The Reboot  and you can sign up and be in community with others who are doing juice fasts, and get advice, support, etc.  I signed up...I like connecting with others....esp others who are into the whole raw and juicing thing...and I love giving advice.....and alot of these people are new to the whole juice and raw foods thing and appreciate what I share..other places people already know alot...so I am just one of many......just another cog in the wheel....I like helping people learn how to be truly healthy....and stay out of the doctors office... 3rd leading cause of death in the US?  Medical treatment.  Need I say more?

I HAVE A DREAM.........I HAVE A PLAN......

I still have a dream, the same dream, and I have a plan.  Another plan.  I will keep at this until I get it.  This new plan is 6 blocks of time, each 7 weeks long.  Taking me right up to the cusp of my next birthday.  I am  an amazing vibrant and healthy vision of loveliness of love living my dream life.  Each week I am eating as raw as I can and having 2-4 days of only juice.  Today was day 1.  I had a wonderful green smoothie for breakfast, oh, I lie, I had it mid-afternoon, 3:30-4pm...for breakfast.....I had 6 small squares of Black & Greens organic 70% dark chocolate.  That took me up to 2pm...then I made some toast, and promptly got distracted and left it in the toaster while I ran to the post office.  (Not far from where I was).  Came back and had 2 pieces of sprouted grain toast with raw almond butter and slices of a yummy ripe banana.  Afterwards I finished off my wonderful green smoothie, which was made with 2 ripe peaches, 1 orange, 2 ripe bananas, some frozen raspberries, 4 large handfuls of mixed greens and 2 tablespoons of NuDe...NutrientDense powder....  It was great.  I also nibbled on a few almonds during the course of the day.  After work I went to the gym and did a good 20 minutes on the stair stepper, followed by a good weight routine, then 30 minutes on the treadmill.  Normally I do at least 45 minutes, an hour if I have time, but I only got 4 hours of sleep last night plus was a bit crunched for time.  I came home, had 2 more pieces of sprouted grain toast, with a good bit of pesto slathered on each and a good bit of tiny ripe cherry tomatoes.  That was dinner.

Yesterday I went to Barnes & Noble and looked at a whole armload of cookbooks, some raw, some not, then wrote down the names of the ones I like best, and came home and reserved them at my local library.  I am so grateful for the wonderful library system we have here, as I found all of the books I was wanting.

They are,  Living Raw Foods by Sarma Melngailis, RAWvolution by Matt Amsden, The New Mediterranean Diet Cookbook by Nancy Harmon Jenkins, Raw Family Signature dishes by the Boutenkos, Super Natural Everyday by Heidi Swanson and last week I went to a local independent bookstore, found some great books and also put holds on them.....Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn,  The Mirror of Yoga, Awakening the Intelligence of Body and Mind, by Richard Freeman, Inside-Out Healing, Transforming Your Life Throught the Power of Presence, by Richard Moss, and Law of Attraction Plain & Simple by Sonia Ricotti and a bunch of books, books on CD etc by Eckhardt Tolle.

All of this is really helping me to change...I am using as many things as I can....to seek change, to be change, to change my habits, to overcome my self-sabotage...which is my biggest block.  I am getting there, I know what I am up against.....very consciously, ...I will do this.  I will become a Raw Goddess, living a life fulfilling my dreams and potential.  I checked out a program by someone else, and was very disappointed.  Some of it was good, but the main thing I wanted....seemed so off to me...so money and luxury, materialistic focused.  Not what I am looking for...yeah, I want a good life, abundance etc, but I don't want to have it by selling someone else's product which is kind of like chasing my tail....I don't want to have to sell anything.  I can see getting paid for service.....but you will get more than your money's worth...and...the biggest thing of all...I am already living a life of abundance....I am already  blessed beyond measure.  I am so grateful for all of the wonderful people and circumstances of my life.....it is here now. 

So...today was a good day.  A success.  A few things I could have done better....had my smoothie right away, not had the chocolate...had more raw food available so I don't eat the sprouted grain bread.  My goal is to wean myself away from it....but it is all good....I just do want to be 100% raw...for at least 6 months.  Then I will truly know how great I can feel........I can feel the magic already.... I want more of it!

Tomorrow...no green smoothie for breakfast...unless...unless I take the blender to work and make it there, as I have no bananas at home (accidentally left my wallet at home so could not get to the store for more...)  I do have some bananas at work,  so if I bring everything else, I can make my smoothie there.  That is what I am going to do as I just have to have my green smoothie. 

I can't wait to get my books from the library.  If I had had my wallet today, I would have gotten Sarma's book...she is very awesome, imho.....really like what she does, her recipes...she had a very good article in her book about soy, explaining exactly why it is not good for consumption unless it is fermented, explaining the awful things done to it to make it into things like 'tvp'...textured vegetable protein....which is a frankenfood if there ever was one.....I wish she had something in there about canola oil as well...she might..I was in a bit of a hurry so didn't get to read it all...will get it tomorrow!  I am excited!!!

Tomorrow is going to be another awesome, rawsome day!

DREAMS***I HAVE DREAMS

I am a raw goddess......that is my goal and my dream and I feel the universe aligned behind me in pursuit of this goal.  For me, what is a bit difficult is figuring out how not to get bored with the food.  I think learning a new way of eating is much like learning a new language.  At first, it is easy, but as you get down to it, it takes self-discipline and determination to perservere.  I have been making raw dishes from recipes from the books that I have, and that I have taken from many websites....and they all sound good.....but none of them are all that good.  What I make doesn't look as good as what is pictured or described.....and something may taste good but the texture throws me off, or the seasoning doesn't work..  But I am sticking with it....going back to simpler foods.  Foods that have not been messed with too much....foods that I know that I like.  I tried making a raw version of a quiche...basically made a nut crust that was seasoned for a quiche, and used the same basic ingredients as one would use when making a raw cheesecake to make the quiche filling, adding some marinated vegetables to that.  It turned out ok, but not great.  And is a heavier meal than I need on a daily basis.  So today is my 9th day of being mostly raw.  I have not been 100% all of the time, but most of the time.  My goal is to be 100% raw, and I am not having any cravings for cooked food....I am just not liking much of what I have been making that is raw food.

I would much rather just eat things in their natural states than try and create all of these complicated raw dishes which are rarely very satisfactory....I am putting my thinking cap on and will eat what appeals to me and see if I have a system that is unique and that may interest, even benefit, others.

So to keep track of the evolution of my diet I will be posting what I eat everyday....it is a helpful thing to do.

Today's menu
Green smoothie made with orange, banana, strawberries, mixed salad greens and some NUtrientDEnse protein supplement.

Also have some raw almonds and blueberries.......off menu had 4 dark chocolate Nuggets.....2 would have sufficed, none would have been best.

It is now lunch time...will finish my smoothie.....it is a quart of smoothie....and then later have some blueberries and maybe more banana.........gym session tonight....looking forward to it. 

STILL JUICY

Today is the 9th day of my juice feast....I am one seventh of the way through it.....having really good days....yesterday was a bit bleah not much but a bit, but that was partially because I juiced some of the dandelions from our yard (we never spray it) and they have much more of a kick than commercial dandelion greens from the store.  I passed a good sized poop this morning with obvious cleansing from the liver...I inspected (of course) and one side of the poop sausage was a light tan color.....and I was definitely feeling 'liverish' yesterday.  I had one bottle of it left which I drank today...I am going to do this again, and also give some to Liam and Dakota...will have to time Dakota's right...a Sunday would be a good day for him I think so he won't be crabby at school, Trans or around friends.

I gave him some apple juice with organic tangerine peel in it....but I don't know if it did anything..I am going to make him another juice with everything..apple, parsley, dandelion and the tangerine peel...that should do it.

Liam should have some also.  I have been having alot of young coconut juice....it is sooo good.  And a quick and easy drink...doesn't require an hour of juicing.  Tomorrow I am going to take all of the young coco meat out of the ones I drank (I have been saving them in the fridge) and make a yummy pudding.  I am glad the weather turned cold for a few days as I am running out of fridge space and can keep them in the sunroom.  I brought the tomato and basil plants back into the house it is getting so cold, esp at night.

So still doing the juice feast....have been cheating a bit with raw foods...as I made a raw cheesecake which is yum...and had a small piece....and ate some raw cashew butter.....but I am not going to do any of that tomorrow...that is the road to ruin.  I am determined to do this successfully, to keep this going....it is too good of a thing to stop now....I don't want to waste what progress I have accumulated....I want to add to it.  I want to do this for the full 9 weeks....63 days....I have 52 days left...which is so cool...as I love the number 52 and also 51....and I love the energy and tuned in-ness that I have....it's great! I plan on keeping it...I am learning so much...and have sooo sooo much more to learn....off to study some of it.....practice practice practice.

DAY 7/57 THIS HAS BEEN JUST SO COOL

This juice feast has been such a cool experience.....I have been so spiritually high and meeting such cool people and having so many moments that feel just perfect...in the flow in the zone.....moments of bliss..  My energy is not the high it was on Sat but that is okay, my body is cleansing and healing....so some days will have lower energy....they are still awesome.  I went back to the bookstore and talked to Rick, the owner again, I wanted to ask him about this experience that I had that I had no idea what to make of it... I was in a dream....the details of which I don't remember.....and then I was very suddenly rising up off of the planet and nearly sonic speed...it was just a rush....I felt like I was headed into outer space...up to a star or wherever....it was so sudden and swift it scared me....I so I stopped it..........and slowly went back down to earth...it was a neat experience even if I was unable to let it go completely......  When I related this to Rick he asked me if I meditated...which I sort of do and sort of don't......and he said this was an experience of my consciousness rising.......something that many who meditate aspire to have.....would love to have.....which was way cool.....and he said I have natural talent....but like a kid with natural talent for a sport or music or anything, it needs to be developed....and he recommended an area in his store where I would find some books that would help me...he's so cool...he did not tell me any particular book....but just to look at them and see which one spoke to me, and then to look at some cd's and choose something there...........so I went back there...to the books...and  found one right away...Tarkang Tulku "Tibetan Meditation", and then I went over to the CD's....and I was looking and saw some that looked interesting, but he called out to me that he meant the cd's around the corner....so I went around the corner....and I didn't like any of them, and I said, But I don't like any of these....and I chose 4 from the other side...and brought those and my Tibetan book up front.  I had also chosen a small book, which turned out to be more of a boutiquey kind of  book...and he said as much and that I really didn't need that....and he ranked my cd's in order of which he thought were best....and the one he liked best was the one I liked best, which also had an accompanying book which I went back and got, and so I got 2 books and a cd'set...the book and cd set are Traveling the Sacred Sound Current....Keys for Conscious Evolution by Deborah Van Dyke....very awesome books....when I had chosen these 3 items he told me that I had made excellent choices....he really is a Merlin of sorts, a Dumbledore, a Gandalf  ....so wise...  so that made me very high and excited.....and now I have to set some time to regularly study and meditate...to 'practice'.......and the timing is so perfect...and I can go by the creek on my lunch hour....and yes!

Another awesome cool day...and I received the most lovely wonderful email from my oldest son re:Mothers' day...thanking me for being an awesome mom....which makes me so happy...he is a wonderful awesome son!

DAY 6/58

Yesterday was an amazing high day, but I did a couple of things, which have made today (or maybe it's just how today would be anyways) not an amazing high day.  But that's okay, as I was about to float off the planet!  What I did was I ate some chocolate...not alot, but some....turns out it was raw chocolates, and I even bought some, but I have not had any today, and will not eat them.  I want to do this right.  I also got literally high, as in smoked some....this kind of opportunity is not something that comes my way very often anymore and it is something that I enjoy and also the situation, while it would have been fine if I did not partake, it was definitely better that I did.  I have no regrets, yesterday was mindblowing....without the weed....but I don't have that wonderful natural high today like I did yesterday, and I miss it. 

Yesterday I mostly had young coconut water....one of those is equivalent to a quart of juice if you ask me...does a body good! and I had 3 of them...then I had a quart of carrot juice...I was about to write orange juice as it is about as orange as you can get.....I had some green juice from the day before, it had been refrigerated and was still good....but I never got around to drinking it....and since it got a little warm I put in the freezer to cool down fast.....and forgot about it.  One bottle broke, one did not...luckily the mess was not much.....I need to do my green juice differently.....I put 2 cukes in it...I think only 1 is better.  Will be making some of that tonight and some more straight carrot juice. 

Today I have had one quart of carrot juice, 2 young coconuts, 4 scoops of raw greens powder in water, and an Ola Loa vitamin fizzy pack...not sure if I am going to keep on having those or not.....I have never tried them before...thought they might help.  Maybe I will take them in the evening.....

So today is Day 6...I am into this...it is good...so glad I have the next 4 days to chill and just do this....then have to get it together for when I have to get up early and go to work...but I can do it, I have done it before...
soon I will be 1/9 of the way done with this!

What happened yesterday that was so mindblowing is I went into a spiritual bookstore here...and bought some candles...and a book on the Aleister Crowley Thoth tarot, and as I was paying I was talking to the owner and we talked about a few things...I told him some stuff, some of my archetypal dreams (I have had 2 or 3...amazing dreams) and this and that...nothing really special, but when I walked out of that store...I felt so high, like my mind had been blown wide open....it was incredibly amazing...I was barely on this planet anymore...very cool...stayed with me ....

Then shortly after that I met someone.....who also blew my mind.....and that's all I can say.

Tomorrow I am going back to the bookstore as the owner will be there again...the one I was talking to....and I want to ask him what he thinks of this feeling I have gotten a few times..one time especially was quite amazing, I felt as if I were rising up off of the earth, literally about to go into outer space, and a very high speed...sonic speed almost....but I didn't let myself go......I mean I was looking down and seeing everything get smaller and smaller to the point where I was nearly seeing the entire planet from above....if I was even still seeing anything at all...I was moving that fast.... 

I have always wondered if that would have led to an out of body experience, if it would have led to my death?  And hard for me to entertain...but what if it was someone else drawing me up?  I have no sense of that, but it did come on suddenly.....interesting.....

He did tell me I was very intuitive...which I am......very......as I pay attention.

SAT MAY 7th 5/59

Today has been such an amazing awesome day.....I will edit this more later maybe....to give details...but let it just suffice to say that juice feasting energy can be amazing amazing...and that is what it was for me today.  So many cool things happened but I just don't have the patience right now to sit and type it all in....and I have to pee!

Tomorrow I am going to be doing yardword.....and I am an only working Friday of this coming week....and my husband is off camping/hiking....actually it would have been great to have gone with, but the boys couldn't go...so I am doing the next best and having my own fun vacation right here at home as my boys are teenagers and nuff said.

laters.......

DAY 3/60 IS IT DETOX?

I seem to have a cold......but it also feels like detox.  Could be both....today is day 3 of juice feasting.  It is easy..and I am proud that I have maintained when I could have caved...luckily my appetite is off....so hunger feelings are easier to deal with as I really don't feel them much at the moment.  I made 3 quarts of orange/graperfruit juice yesterday but I didn't drink much of it.  The grapefruit were old and mushy and didn't taste very good.  I was thinking that mixed with the oj they were okay...but I just couldn't bring myself to drink much of it.  Luckily I wasn't very hungry.   Late in the afternoon I mixed up 4 scoops of my raw greens powder (Garden of Life) in some water and drank that.  That helped alot.  Then in the evening I made a quart of carrot apple juice with a bit of greens in it....and then mixed 2 scoops of my Raw Power protein powder in that....it has maca in it which I was hoping would give me a bit more energy.  I was really feeling tired yesterday....got totally stressed out driving..which brought out my not so finer qualities....on the way home,  I had to give my husband a ride to and from his office as he took his car in for maintenance....on the way there I upset him as I just was so annoyed and impatient and frustrated...on the way home I was pretty much the same so when I picked him up I had him drive.  Then I came home, reheated some leftovers called that dinner (they were very good really.....bean enchilada casserole with sauteed zucchini, onions to which I added white corn and a can of diced tomatoes...)  I went to bed early as I was quite tired.  Today I am still quite tired...it does feel like a cold...but some of it is detox I swear.....I had a nice big poop (get used to it) last night that smelled quite foul and afterwards I definitely felt better.   So today's juice is my 2 lbs of carrots, 3 heads of romaine lettuce, 1/2 bunch of celery, package of small sweet peppers, 1/2 bunch of parsley, 1/2 bunch of dandelion greens, 4 apples, 4 oranges and a sour not ripe lemon.  It is good, but I think I won't add the lemon the next time.  Going out for a massage and a chiropractic treatment this afternoon....I was reared 2 weeks ago...still healing. 

What do I hope to accomplish on this juice feast?  I would like to see my skin get younger, more elastic...I would love to lose my varicose veins completely, I would love for my gray hairs to go away.....they do seem to decrease quite a bit when I am juicing, eating alot of greens....and of course I would love to get down to my ideal weight.  Is it 166?  or 156?  or 146?  or somewhere in between?  So far (I know it's only day 3 but yesterday was an unusual day....) I have lost 5.5 pounds! 

That is great...

I HAVE A DREAM.........I HAVE A PLAN......

So.....26 weeks......is 182 days.  I have decided that I will spend the first 63 days, which is 9 weeks, which will take me right up to July 4th which is Independence Day.....and do my juice feast.  And after that I will be 100% raw.  I have a budget of $25 per day, which seems high, but the cost of food is high, and I hope to go under budget many days.  That is the max I can spend.  I have some extra money from working overtime hours and then I am getting money from insurance as I was rear-ended...so I am getting at least $450 more...maybe even a bit extra...but I really have no idea.

I plan to water fast 1 day of each week......that will be 9 days of water fasting....my first water fast day will be next Monday, which I am taking off for a vacation day.  I am taking today off and 4 days next week also.  So I will have 6 uninterrupted days to relax, really get into this juice feast, plan, play, dream, journal and just enjoy life.

The juice I am currently drinking costs about $25 per day.  At least I believe it does...need to seriously check this out and seriously check into less expensive options.  I am thinking that juicing melons might  be cheaper...this is for a gallon of juice per day.

Will do some research.  I am getting quite excited about all of this.....have plans for my life!

THIS IS FOR ME

I will not dwell on why I have yet to get past the fence......but just do it.  Get past the fence.  I am now approaching my 56th birthday...and time is passing.  I visualize chopping off blocks of my old life, of time, of opportunity, of whatever, and I intend to use them to build a new life.....to improve the quality of my life, and I see them fall into this bottomless crevasse that is inbetween me and what I want...it isn't one that can't be crossed, but when I waste time, opportunities, etc. they fall into that crevasse.....and there is nothing on the other side, however, if I use them well, do something good, make a good change, then I have the start of something on the otherside.  And it is not like I don't do good things for myself...as I do.  I planned and worked things out ahead of tax season this year, so that it was very successful for me.  I did not get physically exhausted, I did not get sick, I did not miss scanning any tax returns.  That is good.   We have yet to have a staff meeting after everything was all over...so I have yet to really hear any feedback...but I know I did well.....

So I have been juicing....and eating.....and juicing....and eating.  Today I took the day off, and I am here, writing, trying to clarify what it is that I am doing, what it is that I want to do, how to get past this particular fence, where it is I want to go, how I am going to get there, and just generally what is up with me.

What do I want?  I want to do another juice feast....til my birthday.  I was originally going to be 42 days or 6 weeks, then 40 days....now 39.  It's like a reverse auction.....only the buck stops here.

Today I woke up, it is going to be a gorgeous day, so I decided to take the day off.  I was going to take tomorrow off, but today is going to be a nicer day, so I called in and took today off.  Also, I will be home alone, which is important to me, while tomorrow I wouldn't be.  I want to be totally free to do whatever I want and need to do.

So...I have 3 quarts of fresh juice awaiting me, but since I ate cooked food last night, I am  going to only have water until at least 10am if not 12 noon.  The plan for today is to drink the 3 quarts of juice over the course of the day, and have some raw greens powder if I am feeling hungry, and then some orange/grapefruit juice if I need more juice.  I will need to make tomorrow's juice tonight as I have to leave the house earlier than normal tomorrow.

So I have 29 days left of this month to juice feast.  And 39 days until my birthday.  I want to be happier, healthier and of course, thinner on that day....I also want to be 100% raw for 6 months.  May, June, July, Aug, Sept., Oct.  29+ 61+61+31=182 days or exactly 26 weeks.  That is cool...numbers that I like....and now to make a plan.   I like making plans, they excite me, motivate me...inspire me....now to get inspired.

I need to eat more seaweed...currently don't eat any.  I like it, just don't have the habit of eating it.  As I am now juicing I need a liquid sea mineral option....Mr. Monarch can help me out with that one....though buying it from another source would possibly be cheaper.  I am juicing cucumbers for my kidneys....they have been sore recently...and I really have no idea why.  I am thinking it is because of the cedar oil poisoning...as my liver was acting up as well.  Now my liver is feeling better, but I know it still has some healing to do, but I did get alot of fat cleansed out of it.....I need to heal my body of damage from the cedar oil, of damage just from living and get that vibrant happiness that I yearn for.  So....need also to do some work on my feelings....I suppose.  lol....ever the reluctant one.  Things I need in my life...fun, exercise, love, laughter, I would say friends, but I don't do friends....don't get me wrong, I am not unfriendly, but I just never have learned how to be a long-term friend...I always mess it up, don't trust that people like me, make sure that people don't like me, don't want to deal with the whole concept.....that is an area that needs alot healing also.  As is my whole relationship with my self.  hmmmm.

So...soon going out to sunbathe a bit....need to find a good book to keep me company.  Need to find some paper to continue writing out my thoughts....may take my laptop out with me later.....for a sit in the sun on the main street......maybe.


Whole lot of thinking to do...and I am in the mood to do it....

   It feels so good to be doing just juice.