STILL JUICY

Today is the 9th day of my juice feast....I am one seventh of the way through it.....having really good days....yesterday was a bit bleah not much but a bit, but that was partially because I juiced some of the dandelions from our yard (we never spray it) and they have much more of a kick than commercial dandelion greens from the store.  I passed a good sized poop this morning with obvious cleansing from the liver...I inspected (of course) and one side of the poop sausage was a light tan color.....and I was definitely feeling 'liverish' yesterday.  I had one bottle of it left which I drank today...I am going to do this again, and also give some to Liam and Dakota...will have to time Dakota's right...a Sunday would be a good day for him I think so he won't be crabby at school, Trans or around friends.

I gave him some apple juice with organic tangerine peel in it....but I don't know if it did anything..I am going to make him another juice with everything..apple, parsley, dandelion and the tangerine peel...that should do it.

Liam should have some also.  I have been having alot of young coconut juice....it is sooo good.  And a quick and easy drink...doesn't require an hour of juicing.  Tomorrow I am going to take all of the young coco meat out of the ones I drank (I have been saving them in the fridge) and make a yummy pudding.  I am glad the weather turned cold for a few days as I am running out of fridge space and can keep them in the sunroom.  I brought the tomato and basil plants back into the house it is getting so cold, esp at night.

So still doing the juice feast....have been cheating a bit with raw foods...as I made a raw cheesecake which is yum...and had a small piece....and ate some raw cashew butter.....but I am not going to do any of that tomorrow...that is the road to ruin.  I am determined to do this successfully, to keep this going....it is too good of a thing to stop now....I don't want to waste what progress I have accumulated....I want to add to it.  I want to do this for the full 9 weeks....63 days....I have 52 days left...which is so cool...as I love the number 52 and also 51....and I love the energy and tuned in-ness that I have....it's great! I plan on keeping it...I am learning so much...and have sooo sooo much more to learn....off to study some of it.....practice practice practice.

DAY 7/57 THIS HAS BEEN JUST SO COOL

This juice feast has been such a cool experience.....I have been so spiritually high and meeting such cool people and having so many moments that feel just perfect...in the flow in the zone.....moments of bliss..  My energy is not the high it was on Sat but that is okay, my body is cleansing and healing....so some days will have lower energy....they are still awesome.  I went back to the bookstore and talked to Rick, the owner again, I wanted to ask him about this experience that I had that I had no idea what to make of it... I was in a dream....the details of which I don't remember.....and then I was very suddenly rising up off of the planet and nearly sonic speed...it was just a rush....I felt like I was headed into outer space...up to a star or wherever....it was so sudden and swift it scared me....I so I stopped it..........and slowly went back down to earth...it was a neat experience even if I was unable to let it go completely......  When I related this to Rick he asked me if I meditated...which I sort of do and sort of don't......and he said this was an experience of my consciousness rising.......something that many who meditate aspire to have.....would love to have.....which was way cool.....and he said I have natural talent....but like a kid with natural talent for a sport or music or anything, it needs to be developed....and he recommended an area in his store where I would find some books that would help me...he's so cool...he did not tell me any particular book....but just to look at them and see which one spoke to me, and then to look at some cd's and choose something there...........so I went back there...to the books...and  found one right away...Tarkang Tulku "Tibetan Meditation", and then I went over to the CD's....and I was looking and saw some that looked interesting, but he called out to me that he meant the cd's around the corner....so I went around the corner....and I didn't like any of them, and I said, But I don't like any of these....and I chose 4 from the other side...and brought those and my Tibetan book up front.  I had also chosen a small book, which turned out to be more of a boutiquey kind of  book...and he said as much and that I really didn't need that....and he ranked my cd's in order of which he thought were best....and the one he liked best was the one I liked best, which also had an accompanying book which I went back and got, and so I got 2 books and a cd'set...the book and cd set are Traveling the Sacred Sound Current....Keys for Conscious Evolution by Deborah Van Dyke....very awesome books....when I had chosen these 3 items he told me that I had made excellent choices....he really is a Merlin of sorts, a Dumbledore, a Gandalf  ....so wise...  so that made me very high and excited.....and now I have to set some time to regularly study and meditate...to 'practice'.......and the timing is so perfect...and I can go by the creek on my lunch hour....and yes!

Another awesome cool day...and I received the most lovely wonderful email from my oldest son re:Mothers' day...thanking me for being an awesome mom....which makes me so happy...he is a wonderful awesome son!

DAY 6/58

Yesterday was an amazing high day, but I did a couple of things, which have made today (or maybe it's just how today would be anyways) not an amazing high day.  But that's okay, as I was about to float off the planet!  What I did was I ate some chocolate...not alot, but some....turns out it was raw chocolates, and I even bought some, but I have not had any today, and will not eat them.  I want to do this right.  I also got literally high, as in smoked some....this kind of opportunity is not something that comes my way very often anymore and it is something that I enjoy and also the situation, while it would have been fine if I did not partake, it was definitely better that I did.  I have no regrets, yesterday was mindblowing....without the weed....but I don't have that wonderful natural high today like I did yesterday, and I miss it. 

Yesterday I mostly had young coconut water....one of those is equivalent to a quart of juice if you ask me...does a body good! and I had 3 of them...then I had a quart of carrot juice...I was about to write orange juice as it is about as orange as you can get.....I had some green juice from the day before, it had been refrigerated and was still good....but I never got around to drinking it....and since it got a little warm I put in the freezer to cool down fast.....and forgot about it.  One bottle broke, one did not...luckily the mess was not much.....I need to do my green juice differently.....I put 2 cukes in it...I think only 1 is better.  Will be making some of that tonight and some more straight carrot juice. 

Today I have had one quart of carrot juice, 2 young coconuts, 4 scoops of raw greens powder in water, and an Ola Loa vitamin fizzy pack...not sure if I am going to keep on having those or not.....I have never tried them before...thought they might help.  Maybe I will take them in the evening.....

So today is Day 6...I am into this...it is good...so glad I have the next 4 days to chill and just do this....then have to get it together for when I have to get up early and go to work...but I can do it, I have done it before...
soon I will be 1/9 of the way done with this!

What happened yesterday that was so mindblowing is I went into a spiritual bookstore here...and bought some candles...and a book on the Aleister Crowley Thoth tarot, and as I was paying I was talking to the owner and we talked about a few things...I told him some stuff, some of my archetypal dreams (I have had 2 or 3...amazing dreams) and this and that...nothing really special, but when I walked out of that store...I felt so high, like my mind had been blown wide open....it was incredibly amazing...I was barely on this planet anymore...very cool...stayed with me ....

Then shortly after that I met someone.....who also blew my mind.....and that's all I can say.

Tomorrow I am going back to the bookstore as the owner will be there again...the one I was talking to....and I want to ask him what he thinks of this feeling I have gotten a few times..one time especially was quite amazing, I felt as if I were rising up off of the earth, literally about to go into outer space, and a very high speed...sonic speed almost....but I didn't let myself go......I mean I was looking down and seeing everything get smaller and smaller to the point where I was nearly seeing the entire planet from above....if I was even still seeing anything at all...I was moving that fast.... 

I have always wondered if that would have led to an out of body experience, if it would have led to my death?  And hard for me to entertain...but what if it was someone else drawing me up?  I have no sense of that, but it did come on suddenly.....interesting.....

He did tell me I was very intuitive...which I am......very......as I pay attention.

SAT MAY 7th 5/59

Today has been such an amazing awesome day.....I will edit this more later maybe....to give details...but let it just suffice to say that juice feasting energy can be amazing amazing...and that is what it was for me today.  So many cool things happened but I just don't have the patience right now to sit and type it all in....and I have to pee!

Tomorrow I am going to be doing yardword.....and I am an only working Friday of this coming week....and my husband is off camping/hiking....actually it would have been great to have gone with, but the boys couldn't go...so I am doing the next best and having my own fun vacation right here at home as my boys are teenagers and nuff said.

laters.......

DAY 3/60 IS IT DETOX?

I seem to have a cold......but it also feels like detox.  Could be both....today is day 3 of juice feasting.  It is easy..and I am proud that I have maintained when I could have caved...luckily my appetite is off....so hunger feelings are easier to deal with as I really don't feel them much at the moment.  I made 3 quarts of orange/graperfruit juice yesterday but I didn't drink much of it.  The grapefruit were old and mushy and didn't taste very good.  I was thinking that mixed with the oj they were okay...but I just couldn't bring myself to drink much of it.  Luckily I wasn't very hungry.   Late in the afternoon I mixed up 4 scoops of my raw greens powder (Garden of Life) in some water and drank that.  That helped alot.  Then in the evening I made a quart of carrot apple juice with a bit of greens in it....and then mixed 2 scoops of my Raw Power protein powder in that....it has maca in it which I was hoping would give me a bit more energy.  I was really feeling tired yesterday....got totally stressed out driving..which brought out my not so finer qualities....on the way home,  I had to give my husband a ride to and from his office as he took his car in for maintenance....on the way there I upset him as I just was so annoyed and impatient and frustrated...on the way home I was pretty much the same so when I picked him up I had him drive.  Then I came home, reheated some leftovers called that dinner (they were very good really.....bean enchilada casserole with sauteed zucchini, onions to which I added white corn and a can of diced tomatoes...)  I went to bed early as I was quite tired.  Today I am still quite tired...it does feel like a cold...but some of it is detox I swear.....I had a nice big poop (get used to it) last night that smelled quite foul and afterwards I definitely felt better.   So today's juice is my 2 lbs of carrots, 3 heads of romaine lettuce, 1/2 bunch of celery, package of small sweet peppers, 1/2 bunch of parsley, 1/2 bunch of dandelion greens, 4 apples, 4 oranges and a sour not ripe lemon.  It is good, but I think I won't add the lemon the next time.  Going out for a massage and a chiropractic treatment this afternoon....I was reared 2 weeks ago...still healing. 

What do I hope to accomplish on this juice feast?  I would like to see my skin get younger, more elastic...I would love to lose my varicose veins completely, I would love for my gray hairs to go away.....they do seem to decrease quite a bit when I am juicing, eating alot of greens....and of course I would love to get down to my ideal weight.  Is it 166?  or 156?  or 146?  or somewhere in between?  So far (I know it's only day 3 but yesterday was an unusual day....) I have lost 5.5 pounds! 

That is great...

I HAVE A DREAM.........I HAVE A PLAN......

So.....26 weeks......is 182 days.  I have decided that I will spend the first 63 days, which is 9 weeks, which will take me right up to July 4th which is Independence Day.....and do my juice feast.  And after that I will be 100% raw.  I have a budget of $25 per day, which seems high, but the cost of food is high, and I hope to go under budget many days.  That is the max I can spend.  I have some extra money from working overtime hours and then I am getting money from insurance as I was rear-ended...so I am getting at least $450 more...maybe even a bit extra...but I really have no idea.

I plan to water fast 1 day of each week......that will be 9 days of water fasting....my first water fast day will be next Monday, which I am taking off for a vacation day.  I am taking today off and 4 days next week also.  So I will have 6 uninterrupted days to relax, really get into this juice feast, plan, play, dream, journal and just enjoy life.

The juice I am currently drinking costs about $25 per day.  At least I believe it does...need to seriously check this out and seriously check into less expensive options.  I am thinking that juicing melons might  be cheaper...this is for a gallon of juice per day.

Will do some research.  I am getting quite excited about all of this.....have plans for my life!

THIS IS FOR ME

I will not dwell on why I have yet to get past the fence......but just do it.  Get past the fence.  I am now approaching my 56th birthday...and time is passing.  I visualize chopping off blocks of my old life, of time, of opportunity, of whatever, and I intend to use them to build a new life.....to improve the quality of my life, and I see them fall into this bottomless crevasse that is inbetween me and what I want...it isn't one that can't be crossed, but when I waste time, opportunities, etc. they fall into that crevasse.....and there is nothing on the other side, however, if I use them well, do something good, make a good change, then I have the start of something on the otherside.  And it is not like I don't do good things for myself...as I do.  I planned and worked things out ahead of tax season this year, so that it was very successful for me.  I did not get physically exhausted, I did not get sick, I did not miss scanning any tax returns.  That is good.   We have yet to have a staff meeting after everything was all over...so I have yet to really hear any feedback...but I know I did well.....

So I have been juicing....and eating.....and juicing....and eating.  Today I took the day off, and I am here, writing, trying to clarify what it is that I am doing, what it is that I want to do, how to get past this particular fence, where it is I want to go, how I am going to get there, and just generally what is up with me.

What do I want?  I want to do another juice feast....til my birthday.  I was originally going to be 42 days or 6 weeks, then 40 days....now 39.  It's like a reverse auction.....only the buck stops here.

Today I woke up, it is going to be a gorgeous day, so I decided to take the day off.  I was going to take tomorrow off, but today is going to be a nicer day, so I called in and took today off.  Also, I will be home alone, which is important to me, while tomorrow I wouldn't be.  I want to be totally free to do whatever I want and need to do.

So...I have 3 quarts of fresh juice awaiting me, but since I ate cooked food last night, I am  going to only have water until at least 10am if not 12 noon.  The plan for today is to drink the 3 quarts of juice over the course of the day, and have some raw greens powder if I am feeling hungry, and then some orange/grapefruit juice if I need more juice.  I will need to make tomorrow's juice tonight as I have to leave the house earlier than normal tomorrow.

So I have 29 days left of this month to juice feast.  And 39 days until my birthday.  I want to be happier, healthier and of course, thinner on that day....I also want to be 100% raw for 6 months.  May, June, July, Aug, Sept., Oct.  29+ 61+61+31=182 days or exactly 26 weeks.  That is cool...numbers that I like....and now to make a plan.   I like making plans, they excite me, motivate me...inspire me....now to get inspired.

I need to eat more seaweed...currently don't eat any.  I like it, just don't have the habit of eating it.  As I am now juicing I need a liquid sea mineral option....Mr. Monarch can help me out with that one....though buying it from another source would possibly be cheaper.  I am juicing cucumbers for my kidneys....they have been sore recently...and I really have no idea why.  I am thinking it is because of the cedar oil poisoning...as my liver was acting up as well.  Now my liver is feeling better, but I know it still has some healing to do, but I did get alot of fat cleansed out of it.....I need to heal my body of damage from the cedar oil, of damage just from living and get that vibrant happiness that I yearn for.  So....need also to do some work on my feelings....I suppose.  lol....ever the reluctant one.  Things I need in my life...fun, exercise, love, laughter, I would say friends, but I don't do friends....don't get me wrong, I am not unfriendly, but I just never have learned how to be a long-term friend...I always mess it up, don't trust that people like me, make sure that people don't like me, don't want to deal with the whole concept.....that is an area that needs alot healing also.  As is my whole relationship with my self.  hmmmm.

So...soon going out to sunbathe a bit....need to find a good book to keep me company.  Need to find some paper to continue writing out my thoughts....may take my laptop out with me later.....for a sit in the sun on the main street......maybe.


Whole lot of thinking to do...and I am in the mood to do it....

   It feels so good to be doing just juice.