SIGH

I know sweets bother me, yet I still eat them, and now I have the sugar blues, feeling sad, depressed, blue. Not awfully, but I was feeling so good yesterday. And quite obviously, this is also a case of self-sabotage. Not the worst, but still have to categorize as such, seeing as I know sugar brings me down, and I still eat it. I was very hungry at work yesterday, and my juice just wasn't doing it for me, but the office cupboards were all out of nuts, peanuts, cashews, etc. so I ate a rice crispy bar (EnviroKids organic) instead, then had another as I am Mother Hubbard, I am in charge of the cupboards, so while I was sorting out, straightening etc, I am handling these foods, and I think, oh they aren't all that sweet, etc. and I am hungry, and there isn't anything much to eat, so I ate them. Then I went home, after running errands, and I am still quite hungry, but do I opt for something healthy like a salad? No, I make a toasted sprouted bread, pine nut butter and banana sandwich, which would be all fine and good, but I add some jelly to it. Granted, it's a wonderful blackberry made by my mom, who makes awesome jelly, but it's sugar, and I used a good amount....and then I had a good, albeit cooked dinner (yukon gold potatoes with lots of olive oil, salt & pepper, onions and broccoli just cooked...) so not so bad, but later, while watching a movie, I had bunny grahams. sigh. There are such lovely sweets out there, but not for me. So my present world is blue. But I know why, and I am busy with the antidotes, but the real issue here is why?

Why am I still going down this road? And that is what I am going to try and change. And I could get quite depressed about it, as that has been what I have said to myself for over 20 years now, maybe 30 years...sigh. Why???? And what is a constructive way of putting the heat on, (esp for someone who hates the heat....that kind of heat) and really getting to the bottom of this?

And then also, I reached out to a fellow blogger, and basically got what I thought was the brushoff, so, wah, I am feeling sad. And missing my dad. And my sisters. And my whole family clan in general. sigh.

Made and brought my juice this morning, not quite a quart, and also have 2/3's of a quart of Master Cleanse drink leftover from yesterday, and if I must go there, today we have nuts. I bought a nice supply for the office while I was out and about yesterday. And tonight is kickboxing. And I am having my BrainOn and MSM drink, but I must say it doesn't do as much for me as I hoped. I am still blue, though my sunny periods are getting sunnier.

So, off to conquer my world.........

Ciao bellas
love
Alessandras