I left work early today as I was feeling very restless. I came home and immediately changed into some comfortable clothes and got into bed and pulled the covers over my head. I had no idea that that was what I was going to do until I did it. I was feeling rather intense....and just needed to be with it. As I lay there, I felt like my mind was somewhere else, because it has been somewhere else most of my life....and it is waiting for me to join it. I hope that makes sense. I have my autopilot mind....but my true self, my real mind.....doesn't want to live this life I am living and has gone elsewhere. I am so excited to have this revelation, as I have always sort of known.....so I asked myself...what is it I need to do to realize my true self......kind of hoping, wishing for an instant answer while knowing there really isn't one....and I saw that I just need to continue to do what I am doing......which is fasting and helping Tammy and staying open and changing my family's diet to vegan and just staying open and working it. It is the maca which is making me feel this way....after a bit of lying in bed I got up and had another drink of my maca'd Master Cleanse and it felt a bit much but the feeling passed and when I finished what was in the glass it wasn't there so much anymore. Which is good........so interesting what effect such a seemingly small amount of maca is having.
For dinner tonight I am making a dish with yukon gold potatoes, onions, and kale or broccoli, it is a dish I usually add chicken to, not even all that much chicken but tonight I was going to add tempeh, however, since we are down to $3.73 in our checking account and not wanting to dip into our savings, (again) I decided I would either not put anything like that in it at all, since I don't have any tempeh on hand, or use the last can of albacore tuna. Albacore tuna is supposedly lower in mercury than regular tuna but I really would like to get off all meat....so may not use it...may just give it to Otis our 16 yr old cat who is a fool for tuna. More on Otis later.
