IN THE GROOVE DY3WK2BLK1

Wow, except for my organic 70% dark chocolate, yesterday was 100% raw.  What was really cool, is how good I felt when at the gym.  Light and energetic...and really felt that natural raw high.  Also, when I got home, I only ate some small red tomatoes and then some large flakes of dried coconut.  And that was it!  I did 'feel' a bit hungry when I went to bed, and it took me a little while to fall asleep, (once I shut the door on my snoring like a logger son, it was much easier) and my hunger wasn't really true hunger, so ignorable.

Today I have another quart of organic romaine juice....cost $3.00 and a quart of green smoothie made with 2 bananas, 1 peach, 1 nectarine, 1 orange, water, and 3 large handfuls of mixed greens.  I also brought 2 bananas. 

I am trying to drink a large glass of water first thing in the morning....I didn't drink it first first thing, not until I got to work, but I was thirsty and it was good.  Trying to drink more water....though I drink a fair bit.  Weight was down 1 pd...so 186....I have been a bit up and down since day 1 of this new plan...but it's going down now...I look forward to seeing 179...haven't seen that number in a long while.

Got one of the books I had placed on hold from the library....Lynn Grabhorn's "Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting"...basically a law of attraction book, but it comes highly recommended and what little I had time to read last night looked good.  I can't wait to get back to it!  It's good but not as good as I thought it might be.  I like Sonia Ricotti's book better...but still it is another piece of the puzzle...another bit of info helping move me in the direction I want to go in.

I was feeling very tired when I got home from work....don't think I can do fruit smoothies for a while....even with greens added.  So I had a piece of sprouted grain bread with mayo and tomato, then 2 toasted pieces with pesto...that along with a few more tomatoes was my dinner.  Feel better now.....things will be fine with time.  Today was 99% raw....or 90% raw....that's close enough for me.  I am doing it.  Had a spell where I was feeling....uncomfortable, hungry for something other than what was available...don't know if the toast helped this craving or going poop.....but it's gone now.  Pooped twice today, am and pm....good schedule.  If I am hungry further, coconut flakes will be my treat...and some more water.  Not much to report today, except that I am doing well, and pleased with my progress. Didn't have any chocolate today, and didn't buy any when I could have.  Don't think I will give it up entirely though I may.  I am still excited about my future.....about my present....working on bringing more of what I want into my life and letting go of negativity.  As I have worked on this, I have become much less negative (though today on the way to work...not exactly a good example) but I whenever I find myself thinking negative thoughts of any kind, I recognize them for the auto-pilot habit that they are and choose to stop...to drop them...and replace them immediately with happy positive thoughts and feelings...it's a work in progress.........it's fun!


Got more romaine, dandelion greens and kale today....will have some more yummy green juices tomorrow.

WHAT WILL THE EVENING BRING DY2WK2BLK1

Today is starting out well, I made 2 quarts of green juice this morning, although I am afraid of one of them, haven't even tasted it yet.  One is a quart of straight romaine juice which I love and drank right up.  The other is a bit of romaine juice with a full bunch of parsley, a full bunch of dandelion greens and a few carrots.  And that's it.  (Update...the juice was tooo strong...and sat out...so I dumped it...should have put it in the fridge to finish later, next time I will)  I have had the romaine juice, 4 plums, some raw almond butter straight off the fork, some water and a few raw almonds...and of course, some dark organic chocolate.  It is 3pm...and I am thinking about trying the other juice...need something...and I have 1 plum left.  I may or may not go to the gym tonight....don't want to mess up my husband's 'fucking' schedule....oh I know that is bad....but my libido is in the toilet and his bad sinus breath doesn't help either.  And the fact that we have a schedule...but then, what's a poor man to do if he has to take all of the initiative.  ah yes.  Can you tell I am so looking forward to this?  sigh.  Won't even go into this story...but he is about the nicest guy you'd ever meet......so that's not it at all....just....oh nevermind.  tmi.

So I can tell I have to do some serious thinking and planning to get around myself once I leave work...this evening.  What should I eat?  The banana nectarine smoothie was really great last night, but too sweet...I was tired feeling and looking this morning.  It didn't set off the candida..it's more related to my distressed liver.  Still in need of healing.  So....not sure if I should have one of those..with greens...so it's a green smoothie...that might balance it out and make it okay to my system...but is it what I want/need?  Will have to ponder that one.........

Determined to do this right......and again...getting all of the right emails in my inbox...Evelyn Lim of Abundance Tapestry sent out the perfect one yesterday........about Fear of Success..

http://www.abundancetapestry.com/how-to-overcome-the-fear-of-success/?utm_source=getresponse&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=abundancetapestry&utm_content=Overcome+the+Subconscious+Fear+of+Success+-+Link+Fixed%21

Here is the link...hopefully I inserted it correctly.

So, have been all raw today, except for my organic dark chocolate...went to the gym, had a great workout...lots of energy, felt and still feels really good..it's that raw high...gotta love it.  I did 20 min on the stair stepper, leg machine, 2 different arm machines, and an hour on the treadmill at a very fast pace, then 3 hot steamy sessions in the steam room, with cold showers in between....then another cold shower in the locker room, wash hair, etc....I always do cold showers after the steam room because they do feel so good, and also so I don't leave there looking like a lobster.  I get really red in the steam room as I make it really hot...love it!

Came home and so far have just eaten some small red tomatoes...not sure what else I will eat...but I don't want to eat the sprouted grain bread anymore.....bought some more romaine and some avocados to ripen and tomorrow I will make more yummy romaine juice!

ciao bellas!

NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK W/MYSELF DY1WK2BLK1

So here it is, the usual self-sabotage.....not keeping in touch with my self, and, my ego/mind is just running over me, because I am letting it.  Time to go deep and see what the heck is going on...

Today I brought to work a quart of green juice that I made on Sunday, and didn't try and drink it until around 3pm, after it had been out at room temp all day.  Air conditioned room temp, but still room temp.  Needless to say, it was not good anymore.  At the beginning of the day I had water and a bit of fresh romaine juice from 2 small heads of romaine...it was delish.  At work I had a couple of plums, some almonds, some organic dark chocolate, more almonds, another plum, water, some bites of raw almond butter, then I made a drink out of raw Perfect Food from Garden of Life and some colostrum I have...and a teaspoon of maca.  That was good and fueled me through my gym workout.  Then I came home around 8pm, made a smoothie with ripe bananas and nectarines and water.  Very yum.  Had about 16 oz.  Then I had 2 pieces of toasted sprouted grain bread with mayo and tomato from our garden.  Then I cooked chicken for the boys, and ate some.  yah.  And I baked some steak fries for them and had some of those.  Now I have a stomach ache.  And a soul ache. So time to go upstairs and go inwards and figure out the way forward....what is going on here.  This is not what I want.

I am a raw goddess.......but some part of me is rebelling........the usual part....this time...it will be resolved.  I am no longer willing to live this.

Tomorrow will be a juice and smoothie day.  I bought more romaine to juice and have dandelion greens, parsley, kale, celery, cucumbers, broccoli, carrots, another chiogga beet, and lots of fruit to make smoothies with.  Juice in the day, smoothies for the evening.

And now, I have some work to do......

ciao bellas!
Alessandra

LAST NIGHTS DREAM ~DAY 7WK1BLK1

Or really this mornings dream....most good dreams happen in the morning...this dream had a lot of things in it, pretty much everything that I have been dealing with.....my first memory of the dream is finding out that my 'mother' has moved my bedroom.  It is now a large open room as in open on one side...only 3 walls, that has been painted a nice shade of bright orange and saffron.....I am upset because it is not 'my' room, it is new and unfamiliar and I have no privacy.  The room is at the end of a street....an urban main street...like a downtown street....of a large city.....not alot of traffic and the like....more people...cars aren't in this dream...as I reflect...it feels to me like a San Francisco street....more alternative types....as I am trying to come to terms with this new space....various things happen.....I find a young streetwise man in my closet...turns out it is where he usually meets people to do a deal....drug deal...I think this is my latent interest in smoking pot....getting high...I still like to do it everynow and then but don't actively seek it out.....later I am walking down the street....and I pass by two women who look to be in their early 60's...in good shape and as I pass them one asks the other "Is this a raw day" and the other replies "No....its' too...something don't remember exactly what she said...but today was not going to be an all raw day",......as I am walking around I am getting used to the idea of this new space being my space...where I live...and think. "a bicycle would be good to have",  and then at some point I am in this new space, and I notice the colors...the orange and saffron and think that even if my mother didn't ask me about this change, that at least she painted it in colors that she thought I would like (and I did like)...and I am back in the space and a large group of people stop by...dressed kind of in an India Indian fashion even though they are not Indian...more ashram types...and one of the women...older definitely in her 60's wants some tea and she asks me if I have any ...xyz tea...and I can't make out what exactly she is saying...so I ask her to say it again, and again I can understand everything except the type of tea she wants...we do this about three times and she gives up....these people feel like they are taking over my space a bit, as if it is their space also, as if they were the previous owners, possibly still own it....and they have children with them who are climbing up a rope lattice ladder type thing up onto a wooden platform which is next to my space..and I worry that they might fall....but they seem capable and there is a young man who is watching over them..helping them..so it's okay....and then I am trying to find something to wear, in a closet of clothes that are familiar yet not...and my17 yr old son comes in the dream and he is looking in this large mirror in the room complaining that it makes him look fat, and I look at myself in the mirror and I think the same thing....

this is all so very telling about so many things...things which I will go into later but I have to go...just wanted to get this down...will be back later...a very cool dream...

AAAH ROMAINE JUICE DY6WK1BLK1

Woke up around 8am....and was 1.5 pounds down from yesterday.  hmmm...good.  Washed my face, got dressed, let the cat out, and sat out in the morning sun for 20 minutes.  Then came in and started making juice.  First I had to clean my juicer as I didn't clean or use it after yesterday morning.  I did it the fast and easy way by pouring a half gallon of warm water through it while running it, and then ran a carrot through to get out any remaining stale bits.  And ready to go.  I started by juicing the usual bunch of parsley, dandelion greens and kale, I plan on making alot of juice this morning to see me through the entire day.  Yesterday I didn't have time to do that, (and there was the stinky juice debacle) and when I got back to the house in the mid-afternoon, I did the fun thing, the easy thing, and made the cantelope dream.  Not exactly juice, but it was raw and it was liquid.  But it was also sweet enough for my candida to raise up like the devil, smiling, and thanking me for the sugar, while my leg lesion itched and the fissures on my feet widened.  I even got one in the thick part of my sole near my toes.   That is mean.  I don't understand this except I do know what makes it happen.....and this latest torture started with the nasty juice to which I added lots of carrots and apples to try and tame it.  No such luck with that, and all those sugars....sigh.  But it could be worse....time to go buy more spackle.

After the parsley, dandelion and kale, I juiced 2 cucumbers, and dumped it all into a giant glass measuring cup (thank you pampered chef) and made some romaine juice which I am drinking by itself...I love straight romaine juice.  I have 3 large heads of romaine and I just may juice them all as I want some in the main juice but I also want to just drink some.  They need to do celebrity ads with romaine juice...it makes me think of milk (only way better) and it is much better for you.  Romaine juice.....it does a body good!

You have to have organic, really good organic romaine for it to really taste like milk...and I know that sounds like huh?  no way, but when it sits in mouth on my tongue....it feels/tastes to me much like milk...only better.  '

I am drinking it out of a champagne glass.....it is as good as champagne, as good as gold.  I love glasses and dishes...especially smaller versions or unusual versions....I saw these great French juice glasses...that were small, smaller and smallest.  I am craving them....I want to buy them though we have no room in our cupboard for them....time to make some room!  And I saw these cool espresso cups with saucers that I love ...especially that they come with saucers.  And I like japanese ceramic bowls.....the traditional not the commercial....have a fair number....but with a houseful of boys to men.....sigh.  Actually they don't break all that much stuff, but with my special dishes....any is too much.  But dang if I didn't break one of my favorite japanese bowls the other day.  ooh la la la.....hah! 

So, decided to add some chiogga beet to my green drink.....very pretty beet...reminds me of a radish...just like turnips...they ain't anything but white radishes.  Don't really care for radishes, though they are good for you.  Good vermifuges.......some time I will tell you my daikon radish story.

So...chiogga beets....where did they come from, what are they?  They are an Italian heirloom beet.....
The chioggia beet came from the Italian coastal town of Chioggia, near Venice. It's been around since the early 19th-century. It tastes just like regular purple beets, maybe a little sweeter. The skin is a hot pink/fuchsia color, and when sliced open, the inside has beautiful pink and white stripes. Like any other beet, it can be prepared the same way; steamed, sauteed, roasted, and pickled. The greens are also edible. Sadly, the beautiful stripes fade when the beet is cooked.

SATURDAY DY5WK1BLK1 YEAH!

Okay!  Today is a totally awesome wonderful day!  It feels like an Indian summer day out there.....warm but the breeze is nice and you can just sense fall peeking around the corner....  I need to get back outside.  So, I am doing juice today and doing it well.  But that nasty sprout juice just keeps on biting.  I finally had to put it down.  Down the drain that is.   I made an awesome green juice today, 2 beautiful quarts, it is 1 full bunch of parsley, a full bunch of dandelion greens, a full bunch of dino kale, 6 skinny carrots to push the greens through (my juicer tends to get a bit clogged up if I do lots of leafy greens) 1 cucumber, 1 head of romaine lettuce and 4 large outer stalks of celery.  It is good!!  And I thought it's goodness could tame the badness of the sprout juice, but that sprout juice was just incorrigible....so I put dumped it down the drain, unfortunately I mixed an entire quart of my lovely green juice with it first....and lost all of that as well.

But I went to the Farmers Market and the greengrocers and got some more lovely things....lovely ripe peaches, fresh peaches and cream sweet corn, more kale, some lovely striped heirloom tomatoes, more parsley, more romaine and some lovely chiogga beets.  Not sure what chiogga beets are other than a lovely red color (lighter than regular beets)...less purpley...should make some fine juice.  I have incidentally eaten a few small things today,..a lovely yellow cherry tomato...a piece of yummy cantelope and I unthinkingly ate a small piece of carrot at a picnic.  But I am good on just juice today....I can tell I will get through the day with flying colors....I had some great thoughts last night as I lay in bed falling asleep...but they are lost now...

Time to make more juice and get back outside!!
Ciao me lovelies.....love lovely yah...lovely is the word of the day.

DAY 4 BLK 1 OF 7 WEEK 1 OF 6 ~ JUICE VACATION

If you've never had fresh green juice before you probably would not like it, but actually it's not that bad.  This being a quart of cucumber, broccoli and romaine juice.

I could drink it without anything else in it, but I am going to juice sprouts, carrots, and a couple of apples  to add in with it.  Maybe a zucchini also.  .... So...I next juiced a large maybe gallon container of mixed sprouts...alfalfa, radish and broccoli.  Tastes like concentrated sprouts with a radish bite.  It definitely needs something blended with it to mellow it out.  I would not drink much of this straight.  One small sip has got my stomach looking at me like.."what did you do?"  It feels very cleansing and purging.

Next, I juice 2 lbs of Bunny Luv carrots.  Sweet and delicious.  I poured that in with all of the previously made juice, it hardly made a dent.  The sprouts are definitely the dominating taste.  Come on apples!  But first, a bit of celery juice.  I want the colors of each to show up clearly, before they get tossed into the mix.  Ah, celery juice.  Tastes like celery.  Now the apple juice.  Granny Smith apples.  yum!  I was only going to juice 3 of them, but with the sprouts being all bad-ass I need all 6 of them.



 Hopefully I can drink all of this juice.  It's quite a bit.  3 quarts...and it's ok.  Not great.  But it's what's for juice today!


So that is how I started this day....but first, I got up, said good morning to everyone, pooped and went back to bed.  Before I went to the bathroom, I was lying in bed and my left shoulder was aching in the liver spot.  oh.  My liver still hasn't forgiven me for my birthday transgression (it was rather much) and it still hasn't completely recovered from the cedar oil poisoning of a year ago.  That was quite major. Seriously major.  So I have to be nice nice nice to it.  Good to my liver.  Good to myself.  After I went to the bathroom that pain went away.  good.  And then I took off all of my clothes and weighed myself which is my morning routine.  I am fortunate in that I usually poop shortly after waking.  I weighed....oh this is big..I never reveal this...but I don't care as much anymore...hmm..anyway, I weighed 187.  Down a pound and a half from yesterday.  I am 5'11" so I carry this weight quite well, except for looking like I am 3-4 months along.  So I was pleased with that, especially since I thought I had eaten a fair bit yesterday, late in the day, but I was hungry and ate good things.  But here is the strange part.  After sipping on all of these juices, just sipping, taking small tastes of each, I have pooped 2 more times...so I went upstairs and weighed myself again and I now weigh a half a pound more than earlier!  This is bizarre as you would think the matter that left would more than outweigh the little liquid that has gone in...but I swear sometimes weight comes and even goes, like magic.  As in losing 3 pounds overnight...which can happen.  ie weight before bed and weight upon rising....wierd...but whatever.  So now I am going to see if the apples have made the juice decently palatable, and then clean out the fridge, and then go out.  I need to get more yummy, luscious produce so I can make more yummy luscious juice!

Between my candida heel fissures and my liver in need of healing, I have more than enough motivation to juice.  Enjoy your day!

Just finished cleaning up the kitchen, pooped again...looks like last nights dinner...tomato skins in it.  yeh I know...tmi....   Put some almonds in water to soak for almond milk later, and making up my shopping list.  Hope I can find a nut milk bag without going online.  It is a nice cloudy day....cool...so different than yesterday which was hot and sunny and  nearly 100 degrees!

Now out and about for some adventure!

The day was good but I was tired today.  It wasn't until later this evening when I made some pesto with lots of garlic and had it on some sprouted grain toast, that I felt better.  And yes I know it bothered me yesterday, but I only had 1 slice....not 6.  And, Yes, I didn't do juice all day.  I did it til around 4 or 5pm  then I caved.  I bought this really yummy boutique granola when I was out, had that.  Also had a few corn chips...and a few soaked skinned almonds.  I did not drink all of my juice....only drank 1 quart of it.  I did have also the juice of a large fresh young coconut when I was out.....that was good...but I think I need to do only green juice...without carrots or apples.  My body doesn't seem to deal well with too much sugar right now....not a good sign, but also a sign that having straight green juices would be good.  So tomorrow, I start again, with green juices.  I bought 2 large heads of romaine lettuce, a thing of celery, 2 bunches of parsley, a large bunch of dino kale, a small red cabbage...I also bought 5 lbs of carrots and 2 bags of small, very nice looking apples, one granny smiths and one pink lady....will make juice for my boys with those.  I was thinking that perhaps what happened was the usual self sabotage....but don't really think so.  I think it was the carrots and apples that I had to add to my juice to counteract the biting radish sprouts.  I don't like radishes, watercress, anything that 'bites'....yet I do love hot spicy foods...jalapenos, etc.  It's a different kind of bite.  I found some red clover seeds for sprouting and bought a hemp bag that is going to be my nut milk bag.....so not entirely successful today, not what I aimed for, but overall a good day.