THIS IS FOR ME

I will not dwell on why I have yet to get past the fence......but just do it.  Get past the fence.  I am now approaching my 56th birthday...and time is passing.  I visualize chopping off blocks of my old life, of time, of opportunity, of whatever, and I intend to use them to build a new life.....to improve the quality of my life, and I see them fall into this bottomless crevasse that is inbetween me and what I want...it isn't one that can't be crossed, but when I waste time, opportunities, etc. they fall into that crevasse.....and there is nothing on the other side, however, if I use them well, do something good, make a good change, then I have the start of something on the otherside.  And it is not like I don't do good things for myself...as I do.  I planned and worked things out ahead of tax season this year, so that it was very successful for me.  I did not get physically exhausted, I did not get sick, I did not miss scanning any tax returns.  That is good.   We have yet to have a staff meeting after everything was all over...so I have yet to really hear any feedback...but I know I did well.....

So I have been juicing....and eating.....and juicing....and eating.  Today I took the day off, and I am here, writing, trying to clarify what it is that I am doing, what it is that I want to do, how to get past this particular fence, where it is I want to go, how I am going to get there, and just generally what is up with me.

What do I want?  I want to do another juice feast....til my birthday.  I was originally going to be 42 days or 6 weeks, then 40 days....now 39.  It's like a reverse auction.....only the buck stops here.

Today I woke up, it is going to be a gorgeous day, so I decided to take the day off.  I was going to take tomorrow off, but today is going to be a nicer day, so I called in and took today off.  Also, I will be home alone, which is important to me, while tomorrow I wouldn't be.  I want to be totally free to do whatever I want and need to do.

So...I have 3 quarts of fresh juice awaiting me, but since I ate cooked food last night, I am  going to only have water until at least 10am if not 12 noon.  The plan for today is to drink the 3 quarts of juice over the course of the day, and have some raw greens powder if I am feeling hungry, and then some orange/grapefruit juice if I need more juice.  I will need to make tomorrow's juice tonight as I have to leave the house earlier than normal tomorrow.

So I have 29 days left of this month to juice feast.  And 39 days until my birthday.  I want to be happier, healthier and of course, thinner on that day....I also want to be 100% raw for 6 months.  May, June, July, Aug, Sept., Oct.  29+ 61+61+31=182 days or exactly 26 weeks.  That is cool...numbers that I like....and now to make a plan.   I like making plans, they excite me, motivate me...inspire me....now to get inspired.

I need to eat more seaweed...currently don't eat any.  I like it, just don't have the habit of eating it.  As I am now juicing I need a liquid sea mineral option....Mr. Monarch can help me out with that one....though buying it from another source would possibly be cheaper.  I am juicing cucumbers for my kidneys....they have been sore recently...and I really have no idea why.  I am thinking it is because of the cedar oil poisoning...as my liver was acting up as well.  Now my liver is feeling better, but I know it still has some healing to do, but I did get alot of fat cleansed out of it.....I need to heal my body of damage from the cedar oil, of damage just from living and get that vibrant happiness that I yearn for.  So....need also to do some work on my feelings....I suppose.  lol....ever the reluctant one.  Things I need in my life...fun, exercise, love, laughter, I would say friends, but I don't do friends....don't get me wrong, I am not unfriendly, but I just never have learned how to be a long-term friend...I always mess it up, don't trust that people like me, make sure that people don't like me, don't want to deal with the whole concept.....that is an area that needs alot healing also.  As is my whole relationship with my self.  hmmmm.

So...soon going out to sunbathe a bit....need to find a good book to keep me company.  Need to find some paper to continue writing out my thoughts....may take my laptop out with me later.....for a sit in the sun on the main street......maybe.


Whole lot of thinking to do...and I am in the mood to do it....

   It feels so good to be doing just juice.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

It's my birthday today.......54. I told someone 45 and they didn't bat an eye.....but I am 54. I am feeling good....but not as good as I want to feel. I have lost some weight this year, but not as much as I'd like to...I still have at least 12 pounds which will not be around by August. I am high raw....not 100%, and that's okay. However, I still want to do 100% for at least 6 months. I want to see what that does for me. I have been out of town traveling for the last 6 days and I just ate the best of what was available, much of which was not raw, but overall I ate well. Maybe went up a pound in weight...but that is easy to take back off. Still trying to get lower than my most recent low....that will happen soon.

I have decided to start blogging again regularly as I want to keep moving forward, making changes...and this will help me record my efforts.

Today I have eaten 2 large carrots, 12 ounces of org raspberries (yay they are on sale) some mixed greens, about 1/2 cup of pumpkin seeds mixed with pine nuts, some dark chocolate and 2 multi-flora capsules which seem to have benefited me as my mood is definitely good.

Dinner is going to be at the Mediterranean restaurant, so won't be raw, and I may have one glass of champagne, but that will be it for alcohol til Aug 12th (wedding anniversary) and I will have only one glass then. I was going to say that would be it for cooked food til then....and it may be...but I may take a few days to work up to it.

I have decided upon a plan that is going to make my summer more enjoyable, and that is, having each of my sons (ages 13 and 15) and my husband, make dinner for us, one night a week each. With a little help, flexibility and planning, they can do this.

DAY 9/103 THE YELLOW FLAGS ARE UP

I am doing well on this juice feast, but I had a cheat today, 2 frozen fruit bars, 1 coconut and 1 mango.....and they were not raw or juicy. But it was a beautiful warm sunny day, and I have a sneaky side that talks me into these things....oh so easily do I pursuade myself it's ok even when I know it's not. I have to have a talk with myself.....ask myself what it is I truly want? And then , just do it. I know what I want.....I want to be a beautiful juicy raw goddess......and I am....but I have to have a talk with that self that is not with the program....that doesn't like change, even when it's change for the better.......that deep inside of me self.......that needs to relax and let go.

Other than that, I am doing well. Making my juices, drinking them, feeling good....had a nice poo this evening....my colon is smiling......so.....the impact of my cheat was minor in some ways, and I intend to be 100% raw juicy juice from now on.........as I want the full benefits of this juice feast.

Ciao bellas.......and must say.......it's so nice to have a forward thinking, intelligent, great president for a change.

One I can look at and listen to. And smile even.

JUICE FEASTING 6/106

I am having a 16 week long juice feastival.....care to join me? Today is my 6th full day of juicing and it is going very well. I stopped at the store on the way home tonight and bought more greens...I love buying fresh fruits and vegetables...it just feels so good to know I am feeding myself such healthy foods. I got spinach, lacinato kale, dandelion greens, romaine and broccoli. I have zucchini, parsley, carrots, granny smith apples, celery and cucumbers already. I also have ginger..I need to get a bit more creative with my juices, though I like them just fine. After a week of drinking thawed frozen juices....I would like to figure a way to do all or mostly all fresh juices...but time is a serious factor and rising early is a possibility, but I like my sleep and my husband likes a quiet morning....so....not sure what I will do. I am feeling fine, but wondering about the long term effects of drinking frozen juices...are they nutritious enough? Would love to get some feedback on this...I started a discussion about it on the global juice feasting website, but haven't received any comments yet.

Feeling a bit cold....normal while juice feasting....feeling moments of bliss interspersed with crabbiness....lol....hoping to lose the crabbiness and keep the bliss....so love it. Keeping myself smiling by envisioning the new me.........so looking forward to the transformation....heaven knows I have attempted it so many times before. This is to be the time. Quitting would be so boring.
Not in the least tempted to quit......here's to amazing transformations....to becoming a juicy vibrant sexy lithe raw goddess.....here's to living an amazing life.

Day 3/109

hmmm...have had some nice little bm's......and feeling and looking good....on day 3. I made a quart of orange/grapefruit juice this morning, had a quart of carrot/apple juice I made last night, and a quart of thawed green juice during the day, then came home and ate some coconut oil...with a bit of stevia powder...while it's not juice, I don't consider it really eating, but I don't think I am going to make a habit of it either. Did a bit too much food tasting while making dinner, even with spitting it out and rinsing my mouth out with water....it just was not a good thing. I did not actually 'eat', but I feel a bit like I did...my stomach doesn't seem to have noticed, but my body did. It's amazing how such a tiny amount of cooked food which did get absorbed has such an effect. I feel down...I lost my vibrant look. It will be back tomorrow, as this was indeed a very minor, tiny, transgression, but I am going to be much stricter with myself......it's hard to cook for your family and not at least taste what you are cooking...I need to know if it has enough salt, enough flavor...etc. But I think I will just have to go on faith and memory from now on.

I have got a spot on the global juice feasting site....it's great to interact with others who are juice feasting the same time you are....2 people even started the same day I did. We are all determined to do a full juice feast.

My frozen juices are o.k......not great, but okay at least for palatability....the freezing process does tend to make them a bit wierd....they separate out....but my body feels fine with them, and I do have fresh juice each day...of varying amounts. I think this is a good plan....as it really makes my week much easier...makes it much easier to stay on juice as generally juice is readily available.

So......on I go......and I have lost weight.....I forget my starting weight but I appear to have lost at least 3.5 pounds if not 5.5 pounds. My goal is 10 pounds per month. One I think I will easily attain. So looking forward to having my body back this summer....I hate having a fat middle....it really ages one...and it is so bothersome to me, as otherwise I really don't look my age.
Looking forward to turning back the clock.

Time to go make some juice!

Ciao bellas!
Alessandra

DAY 2/110

Today was a good day...very busy at work...so nice to just get my jars of juice out of the refrigerator and go....no need to juice in the mornings......felt a little hunger but not much, slept well, have peed alot, had a good bm......doing fine...busy and it's late and I'm tired...and need to make a little juice....so very short post today.....so loving this juice feast! I can already see a difference in my face.

JUICE FEASTING 1/111

Today is day 1 of my 112 day long, or 16 week, juice feast. Through it I hope to be transformed by the time my next birthday arrives. Working all my life for this. I have done one 17 day long juice feast in the past, it was all going just fine, not sure why I stopped. Not sure at all. I do know that I did find the daily juicing a bit tiresome, but I am trying something new this time, I am making most of my juice for the week ahead of time. This takes a bit of work, but doing it all at once and freezing the juice, means my week is that much easier. I still do juice some each day, but it isn't as much....today I had 1 quart of orange/grapefruit juice which I'd made yesterday and 2 quarts of green juices made yesterday, then when I got home from work I made a quart of fresh carrot juice...and just had about 12 ounces of fresh orange juice. Should be enough for today. I also made a new quart of orange/grapefruit juice for tomorrow, and took 2 jars of green juice out of the freezer to thaw for tomorrow. I am feeling good....a bit of stomach feeling like it's hungry, but I know better...I know it's just cleansing.....and I am feeling a bit chilly but I have gotten very good at dressing warmly.....so juice feasting here I come! Here I am! I am a raw and juicy goddess! I am also getting more clairvoyant....thinking thoughts that very soon show themselves to be true..mundane things...like the light is going to be green.....which is a bit clairvoyance and a bit just being familiar with the lights, but tonight as I was coming home everything was slowing me down...and I thought to myself, that's because there is going to be a police car up ahead, and I didn't really pay any attention to this thought, but when I turned into our subdivision and went around a bend....there it was...the police car! Put on the brakes, smiled and them, and luckily no lights came on. I was going a bit fast, but not all that fast......I am going to pay more attention to these thoughts. I have been having more vivid dreams recently also, and remembering them....though I only sort of remember last nights....last night's dream was wierd, distressing, hiding from aliens or someone/thing which was trying to get us, inslave us...the dream ended with hiding......think that came from a kid's sci-fi book I am reading...not sure. Just interesting to be having more vivid dreams. And until today, I have only been high raw...not 100%......imagine how things will be one week from now! I am happy to be juice feasting...I love that place it takes me to.....and I look forward to all of the cleansing and changes my body is going to be going through......love love love it! Will definitely have to take some before and after pictures. Most definitely.

Ciao bellas......
have a joyfully juicy day!
xxoxxox
Alessandra