Carrying On

I have gotten stalled in my process of creating my new life, of living my authentic life and for the moment, I am back on track.  My aim and desire is to stay conscious and stay here, in my authentic self.  This will take daily vigilance....which is what having a morning routine is all about.  First off, I have to establish a morning routine.  Something like Hal Elrod's "Miracle Morning" if not that exact thing.

I have been reading about how our hearts function like much like brains in that they too control things (see this article on that subject by Dr. Bradley Nelson creator of "The Emotion Code" http://www.drbradleynelson.com/healing-from-the-heart/  ) which made me realize there are heart centered actions/thoughts/reactions and there are mind centered thoughts/actions and reactions and I have been having way too many mind centered thoughts, actions and reactions and it's time to get back to the heart of things.  Why am I here?  What is it that I am trying to do?  I had rather given up on it all, was overwhelmed, scared off by the complexity of it all, but of course, that is normal. I was reminded and supported in this by my daily "Note From the Universe" from Mike Dooley.

 "Do you know what it sometimes means, Alessandra, when you feel a bit bummed out and aren't sure why? When you catch yourself looking back over your shoulder and wondering? When you feel doubt, sense uncertainty, and experience fear? When you sometimes wonder what's taking so long?

It means you're normal.

Yeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
    The Universe"

 So this is normal, and not unexpected.  When dealing with this fear of the unknown, the thing to do is to take a step back and just do one thing. One action.  My action is to stop worrying and start living from my heart.  I was doing that for a while...just following my heart, my instincts, etc. but then when things got rolling it's like I went unconscious (because I did) and my head took over and that's when I stopped enjoying the process.  Enjoying my life.   I have realized that if I am going to be a successful health coach, I need to be healthy myself.  And that having a healthy life, living a healthy life involves more than just what I put into my body.  It isn't enough that I try and mostly succeed at eating only healthy foods, it is also how I go about it.  I can eat only fresh raw organic greens and fruits with a few nuts and seeds all the live long day, but if I am not doing it mindfully, if I just grab and chow down a handful of nuts while on the go, drink my green smoothie while driving in my car, don't actually take the time to sit down and relax and enjoy a meal, but just grab a quickly, hastily devoured "bite", I am doing myself, the food that I am eating and even the entire planet, an injustice.  Okay, I know you think that including 'the entire planet' in all this seems a bit of a stretch, but trust me it's not.  By eating in this haphazard manner I am supporting the depersonalization of our culture, the depersonalization of nature, the living of an unconscious life.  I am not stopping to think about what I am eating, nor giving thanks to the people, places, circumstances, earth, soil, plants etc. that brought it about.  I am not appreciating any of it.  Not my food, not my self, my being, not the planet, and certainly no one else, as this type of 'scarf' eating is a solitary activity.  Done on the run. 

I need to change and start living in integrity with myself.  I need to live my authentic, conscious, heart-felt life.  So I am trying.  And this morning I got supported in that even as I was heading into another messed up day.  But I got a second chance, my class that was from 9-12:30 got cancelled, so when I got up around 7:45 am instead of rushing out the door with either the wrong breakfast or not enough breakfast and certainly not enough time to do what I needed to do to have a good start to my day, I was able to slow down, relax and do it right.  I went down to the kitchen and mixed up my morning green 'cocktail' of E3's Renew MSM blend, with a scoop of the Garden of Life's "Perfect Food"  a raw greens powder full of great stuff, and a large scoop of Amazing Grasses Raw Reserve and last but not least, a bit of maca powder. I mix it with water and drink it down.  I don't mind the taste as it feels good to my body, and I also have come to like the flavor of greens straight.  When I first started making my own fresh juice, with green juices I had to add in 2-4 apples and a couple of carrots to sweeten it a bit, to make it palatable.  Now, I prefer my green juices straight.  Without fruit or carrot in them. 

Later I had about 16 ounces of green smoothie made by my husband with oranges, banana, frozen raspberries, kale and Organic Girls 50/50 mixed greens.  A mix of greens that is half baby spinach and contains a decent amount of arugula as well.

That sat well, but my stomach was waking up and wanted more.  It felt like it was asking for meat, something savory, not sweet.  Not more fruit.  I have been eating a quasi-paleo diet...eating meat and eggs.  I gave up gluten, grains and legumes,but not entirely.  Organic blue and white corn chips have still been on the menu and the other night I made a yummy bean 'enchilada' layered casserole. (recipe here)

Since I have not really liked the paleo diet (and I must admit since I didn't do it 100% I am not qualified to say if it is all that it is touted up as being) I am going back to a 100% raw diet.  With daily green juice as a part of the mix.  Not sure about continuing with my husband's green smoothies as he puts some yogurt in them.  Still, they are very green and very good.......so I may, for now, not worry about that little bit of plain yogurt.

I love my green juice.  I call it CPR juice as I make it with celery, parsley and romaine lettuce.  It is just YUM and sooooo good for you.  It is going to be my main juice for a while.

So back to being conscious, back on track and leading with my heart.  There are things I know I must do.  Phone calls I need to make, programs I need to get back on track with.  So...that will take up the remainder of my day that is not taken up by family etc.


CPR Juice  (Celery, Parsley, Romaine)

1 large bunch of flat-leaf parsley (regular parsley works just fine)
1-2 heads of romaine lettuce
4-6 stalks of celery

Juice and enjoy!  I think it is yummy and some day I will provide you with the nutritional facts as to exactly why it is sooo good for you!
When choosing fruits and vegetables to juice, organic is best...Not only does it taste better, but it contains more of the nutrients you eat it for.  You can tell how good the soil it was grown on is by the taste...the sweeter the taste, the better quality the soil and the produce.   Naturally!



Recipe for Vegan Enchilada Casserole  Gluten Free, Soy Free ? Dairy Free
1 lasagna pan (14X9x3 ?)
large serving bowl for immersing the tortillas in sauce
1 package of fresh white corn tortillas
1 large jar of 505 enchilada sauce (gluten free)
1 large jar of Pace Picante salsa (I use medium spice)
4 15 oz cans of Rosarita Salsa Jalapeno refried beans
1 15 oz  can Muir Glen diced tomatoes with roasted green chilis
4 med. zucchini
1 med to large onion
8 oz frozen white corn (1/2 of a 16 oz package)
1-2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
salt and pepper to taste (I use both liberally on the sauteed vegetables)
 
 I used 505 brand enchildada sauce which is gluten free (thickened with rice flour), Rosarita's refried Jalapeno Salsa beans, fresh white corn tortillas, and a layer of sauteed zucchini and onions with some white corn and diced tomatoes.

I  usually cut the zucchini in half (to make 2 shorter pieces) then quarter each half and slice by hand or in the food processor, same thing with the onions.  I saute sliced and quartered zucchini and chopped onions over high heat in evoo with onion, salt and pepper) when the zucchini is starting to heat and soften but still about only half cooked I turn off the heat, add half a package of frozen white corn, and a 15 oz can of Muir Glen diced tomatoes with roasted green chililes.  I like the spice of them.  Mix all that together, add in 1-2 tbsp of balsamic vinegar and it makes a delicious layer in the casserole.

Mix the enchilada sauce and salsa together in the large serving bowl.  Don't worry if you don't have exactly half and half, and if it doesn't all fit.  Add more as it gets used up.  I also add the liquid off of the sauteed vegetables to the sauce as the corn tortillas soak it all up.

I coat my baking pan (lasagna pan) with olive oil and then put down a layer of the mixed sauces.  Just enough to cover the bottom of the pan.  Then I immerse the corn tortillas in the sauce, coating each one on both sides and lay them in the pan.  I use 6 for each layer.  Next go the refried beans, on top of the corn tortilla layer.  I open the can, run a table knife around the outside edge of the beans in the can, and sloop, they fall out onto the tortillas.  I use 2 cans per layer, one on each half.  I cut the can shaped mass of refried beans down the middle lengthwise and then again to facilitate spreading, which I then finish with a fork.  Do this on both sides, and make as even as possible.  Then I add the veggie layer, using half.  One those three layers are down, I put on a layer of sauce, then repeat.  Corn tortillas (be sure to immerse and cover in sauce before layering), refried beans, veggies, sauce.  I finish off with a layer of corn tortillas and sauce and if you have alot of the sauteed veggie mix, you can save a bit to use on top as well instead of cheese (put on top of the tortillas and cover with sauce.

Bake in a 375-400 degree oven for 45-60 minutes.  After taking out of the oven, let cool for 5-10 minutes before serving.  I always put a cookie sheet under my baking pan as it tends to be a bit full and runs over a bit.  Not terribly, but enough that I like to catch it before it falls onto the bottom of my oven.


 I used to add cheese in between the layers, but I made this one without the cheese and it was still quite delicious.  Make sure it is heated through (takes 45-60 minutes in a 375 degree oven)  This is important as it softens and cooks the corn tortillas which otherwise can seem too dry. Throwing in a layer of masa like what is used for tamales would work in place of the corn tortillas.

My Story ~ Part 1 ~ How I came to learn that what you eat matters.

I grew up being fed good food with plenty of vegetables grown in the gardens my parents planted every year, and lots of fresh walleye, bluegills and croppies that my dad would catch on a regular basis, as well as the occasional deer, rabbit, squirrel and pheasant.  If he'd liked to hunt duck, we'd of had that too.  We didn't get Coke, store bought sweets and hotdogs as daily fare like my cousins.  Soda and candy was for the holidays, and foods like hot dogs were served only occasionally, especially when we were young.  There were desserts, but the not store bought kind. The pies, cakes and cookies we ate were all made from scratch and sometimes, even our ice cream.  My mom and I share the same birthday in June, and my mom always loved to have home made ice cream with fresh strawberries on our birthday. 

I always loved to go over to my cousin's house and indulge in the hotdogs, the Oreos, and the soda, but looking back, I am glad I didn't grow up having that kind of food as regular fare.  My cousins all grew up to be overweight, and their petite, thin, coffee drinking, cigarette smoking mother, my aunt, died a sad death from cancer, and from not being able to withstand the treatment.  I believe the treatment killed her faster than the cancer would have but either way, her path was pretty much set. 

This happened after I had gone through my own health issues, and had learned the importance of putting healthy foods in your body, and at the start of my belief that the body can heal itself of anything, given the right conditions.  So when I learned that she had cancer, I sent a bit of information to her on some good foods to try and eat, and why good nutrition was so helpful.  I was told by my cousins after she had passed away, that at the end, if she would eat anything, she wanted "Cindy's food" as she could tell it made her feel better. Unfortunately, she got too little of it, too late.

One thing that I learned on this journey, is that pharmaceutical medicines, are for the most part, a double edged sword, and often times do more harm than good, and can easily be misused.  For an acute infection, you can be sure I will happily take an antibiotic.  But I won't take it blindly, and I won't take just anything.  I want to know exactly what it is I am taking, and I will look it up online so I am clear on how it works, and what the side-effects are so I can either ask for something else, or at the very least, be aware of what kind of damage I have to mitigate and repair.  Most all pharmaceutical medicines are hard on the body.  Mainly the liver and the kidneys, as they are saturated with them through the blood.  But also, even more importantly, is the effect on the healthy balance of bacteria in the intestinal system.  These are the issues that I personally know.  There are many other issues encountered with the use of pharmaceutical medicines, and I do not take more than the increasingly rare antibiotic.

 My mom raised us on good homemade food and we were for the most part healthy, though my brother did get sick when he was in the 8th grade and I used to get strep throat on a yearly basis.  But no one at our house, not even my parents, not until they were in their 70's, took any kind of regular medications.  And even then, in their later years, it was only one or two.  Not the handful of pills many people seem to be on, once they get on that path.

I am not interested in taking medication should my blood pressure be off.  If my blood pressure is too high, then it means my lifestyle and my diet are out of balance.  I need to stop sweating the small stuff, get outside and walk more, eat better and just generally relax and have more fun.  If I need more help with it, I take herbal remedies which work, and do not have the toxic load on the system as well as unwanted side effects.

If my blood sugar levels need to be controlled, I am more than happy to stop eating the Snickers bars and ice cream, to stop drinking even the 'natural' sodas.  To eat more fresh leafy greens and salads.  To eat fresh fruit for a treat, a snack, dessert. Get outside and walk more. As again, my system is out of balance.

If I have acid reflux, heartburn, I know that I have gotten out of balance, and my liver isn't happy.  So I eat a liver friendly diet, take some liver supporting herbs, and stop doing the things that caused me to get out of balance in the first place.

If my weight is more than I like, I can think of only one solution to lose it, and that is to tighten up my daily food routine (I'd much rather think of it as that, than to think of it as a 'diet'.) and to get outside and walk more, to go to the gym.  At this point in my life, eating a 100% raw vegan diet is the best and easiest way to get the scale moving.  Not to mention how great I feel when I eat this way.  My energy and my mood go way up, mental clarity is improved. 

The more out of balance I am, the more I tighten up my diet, which has resulted in alot of bad habits being dropped over the years.  I used to eat Snickers bars occasionally.  I doubt I will ever eat another.  I used to eat ice cream.  It is a rare event now.  Not even non-dairy ice cream.  And it is not because they are good, or that I don't like them.  I just don't need the extra sugars in my system.  For me, sugars are an issue.  I can eat fruit all day long, but do much better without honey, maple syrup, agave nectar, etc.  I can still use stevia, but it's not for everything.  You can bet I have looked at all of the 'diets' out there.  I have never done a commercial weight loss program, no Weight Watchers, no Jenny Craig, as I have never been more overweight than I am now, which is 20-30 pounds.  If I weighed 20 pounds less, I would look good.  If I weighed 30 pounds less, to my eyes I would look great.  I fully admit to falling for the thin look is best mindset, but I have never leaned towards extreme things to achieve it.  I have sometimes tried to make myself throw-up after eating too much food,  with no real success, and I have on occasion taken herbal laxative capsules to move food more quickly through my system, but overall, especially now that I am in my 50's, the only way I can lose weight is when I eat a vegan diet, one that is mostly, if not 100% raw.   For me, that works.  That along with regular exercise.  I love to get in a good workout ending with a nice session in the steam room 3-4 times a week.  And outdoor walks and hikes.  My husband and I went on a wonderful 3-4 mile hike last weekend in the lower foothills.  Enough uphill to get a good workout, but with plenty of level walking to make for a pleasant hike.  And lots of rock, trees, plants and wildflowers.  I was walking on this trail last fall and the wildflowers in bloom were awesome!

I grew up eating a healthy version of the S.A.D. diet ("Standard American Diet"), and then fell into eating an even healthier version of it after I left home and became sick and basically had to find my own way back to health.  I read and followed Adele Davis, Paavo Airola, Dr. John Christopher, and others.  I started eating more vegetables, making soups that were chock full of red cabbage, carrots, onions, celery, I don't know if I knew about the wonders of kale at that time, I started eating Brewer's yeast for energy as my body seemed to crave it and it was one of the foods mentioned for increasing your health and energy levels.  I took therapeutic doses of Vitamin C, and at lots of plain yogurt (I definitely had a yeast imbalance to overcome).

I had also stopped eating all fruit, yeasted breads, and anything made with any type of sugar added to it.  Salad dressings, alcohol, etc.  I didn't do it because I was following any particular program, I just knew that these foods, even in small amounts, made my issues worse, so I avoided them.

Working the Plan

So I have pretty much been working my plan, which is to be self-employed helping people improve their health through what they are feeding their bodies.  My business is called, "Good Food Nutrition Works" - Reclaiming your Health, One Bite At a Time."    I do not judge peoples diets or lifestyles, you can be a raw vegan, a vegetarian, a meat eater, a fast-food eater, it doesn't matter.  If you are dealing with health issues, there is a balance missing.  I help you to increasing your awareness of what constitutes good nutrition and the role that it plays in your health and the changes you can make to regain a healthy balance.  Sometimes it is as simple as proper food combining as well as chewing your food more thoroughly, other times it is more elusive and requires a bit of detective work.  The main thing is to put in less of that which you know is not healthy for you, and more of the good stuff.  And that is what I do, I work with people where ever they are on the spectrum of eating, to improve their diets, and thus improve their health.  I have studied food and nutrition and diets my whole life, after a series of events that lead to a downward spiral of illness and a whole host of issues that no one (not even the medical specialist I went to) knew the first thing about addressing.  You can read my story here.........  it was a 3 year journey into and out of this abyss, and what ended up making the most difference in my recovery was what I put into my mouth.  What I was eating.

Yes! to Success!

Okay...so yesterday was a success...it went pretty much as planned......I went to the gym, got in a good work out and a good session in the steam room, then I met L and we had lunch at Chipotle.  By the time we got there I was very hungry.  I had only eaten an apple, and maybe a bit of green smoothie, and then had gone to the gym.  I had my favorite veggie fajita bowl, with no rice, a very little bit of pinto beans, some fresh salsa, some hot salsa, some corn salsa, some guacamole with lettuce.  And a bag of chips.  That was yum.  Then later I went over to my friend's house to do some full moon drumming but really more to talk....and I had a great time, then came home, hung out with L a it and then we went to bed.  The moon is full and beautiful.

And today, today I haven't even gotten out of my pajamas, which doesn't mean I haven't done anything, actually I've done a fair bit....but I didn't have a plan...didn't need to make one, I knew what I needed to do.  I went to the Soulful Woman Certficate Program and looked over all of the calls, the special recordings (meditations, Ariel Spilsbury, Angeles Arrien,etc) and the all of the handouts and downloaded to my desktop so they will be easily accessible.  And I listened to a great meditation by Ariel Spilsbury...I should listen to it daily.

I listened to the rest of the Manifest Everything Now call by Debra Poneman about her program, Yes! to Success.......and then I bought her program....and now I am listening to the recordings....and I got a big slap in the face....a big wake up splash of cold water.......as she said that this is what you need to do to transition to doing what you love to do.......and that is to go to your job, give it your all, do your best, because as the Maharishi Yoga said.....you need to deserve, then you can desire....you need to go to your work and do the most fabulous job, ask yourself, "What can I do to increase my service today...how can I contribute, how can I make this work place happier, more harmonious, more full of love?  "if you want greater rewards, perform greater service and the rewards will always come, because life is like a big apothecary scale with one bowl marked service and the other bowl marked rewards and  the more you put in the bowl marked service, life will reward you in the bowl marked rewards."   This made me start, as because I hadn't done that, at least not fully and completely. I know that, but I was wanting out, and I just wasn't sure how to do it as I didn't have a plan B.  I am working on developing a plan b, but the universe decided I was taking too long (and I was) and just threw me into the pool. 

But regardless of that situation, hearing Debra speak made me realize that I need to show up.  In my life.  At work, at home, everywhere.....and the reasons why I don't show up......well...they are there...and while I have been working on releasing emotions that I don't want to keep (worry, anxiety, fear, feeling of worthlessness, not being up to the task, etc) and I have been doing pretty good with that...I want to actually work on it much more once I get all of the materials...I need to show up.  That is my goal.  To make every day a conscious day, of working towards what I want.  And of doing my best in all parts of my life.  I am trying.  I am working it.  I think I did pretty well today.....I am happy with today.  And, I made cookies with my teenage son....he did about half of the work, and the cookies turned out quite well.  We made cut out cookies, using all of our cookie cutters....the starfish, the snowflake, the bat, the rhino, the saguaro, the jalapeno, the snowman, the 3 different kinds of Christmas trees, the stars, etc.  He asked if we could make chocolate chip cookies but since I had in mind cut out cookies and we didn't have any chocolate chips, we just made chocolate roll out cookies and flavored them with cocoa powder, cinnamon, almond extract, vanilla extract and a dash of brandy.  They are yum.  I am not eating anymore tonight, but just may have to hide some to make sure I get my share.

And today I had a green smoothie for breakfast, 2 large Cameo apples, 2 slices of sprouted grain toast with mayonnaise, a quinoa burger, 2 campari tomatoes slices, with some hot sauce, (this is my sandwich) and some spinach salad.  Later I had some cookie dough and some of the cookies...all made with the best ingredients (seriously, organic flour, coconut sugar, cane sugar, butter, eggs) all high quality...and we used about half of the sugar the receipe calls for...and since then....hmm..oh yes, I also had some of my tulsi, holy basil powder...I think I should take a bit less....but I can tell it does have a good effect.  And now I have to figure out what to have for dinner...everyone else is making homemade pizzas but while I may eat a slice or two...I really need to eat something else.  I think I might make a banana smoothie with some fresh bananas, frozen raspberries and mango and fresh kiwi.  With some canned coconut water, and some of my NuDe Nutrient Dense Acai protein powder...then we are going to watch a movie.

Tomorrow...what am I going to do tomorrow?  I need to start writing.  I need to make a plan, have a goal, a lofty goal, one that excites me, as well as little ones, like doing the writing, going to the gym again, wrapping Barb et al's presents, doing something to clean the house, maybe just clean one room, and listen to more of the Yes!to Sucess! recordings.

The plan is to maintain that Dalai Lama state of mind, that state of joy, that state of bliss...to just call it forth, to just own it, do it, be it...do everything with joy and love............that is my goal for tomorrow...to accomplish all of the above while maintaining a serene, calm, happy, joyful, state of mind.  all of the time, no matter what.....because when I do...miracles happen....everyday miracles, but miracles none the less and the more I practice that...and I have forgotten that today, I have been in a good space but not the dalai lama state of mind...that sustained serene,joyful state of mind.........here I go now...........this is my practice....

Transformation Still In Progress

I am still working on transformation and still running into blocks but I have new tools.  I have raw foods and juicing, fasting and veganism, I have the Soulful Woman's Certificate Program which is a 9 month program....but the clock is ticking...I need to make more use of it....I have the Crack Your Egg Program which has been very helpful but I don't think I can work it all the way through,.....and it is a very good program and an important piece of the puzzle, but I think I still need more pieces.  I also have the Life Work Compass Program, the Dream Weavers or some such program (about working with your actual dreams, but mine are hiding from me....) I have the Qi Gong Course, the Miracle Morning, the Manifest Everything Now webinars, the Belief Buster Kit from Aine (enya) Belton, Notes from the Universe, Mike Dooley's "Leveraging the Universe", and "Infinite Possibilities", Evelyn Lim's Life Vison Mastery, Christopher Tims, Tom Lescher "New Paradigm Astrology", I have my Dalai Lama state of mind, all of my books, I have lots of stuff....and last but not least I have the "Emotion Codes", which is another big piece of the puzzle, and I have met some great new friends....just perfect for me for where I am in my life right now..I am manifesting friends, and information and this just in......the Universe has just pushed me into the deep end of the pool.......as, get this....on 12-21-12 around (seriously this is very close to the exact time) 12:21 pm, I lost my job.  It was taken away.  No longer exists.   While this was actually not a huge surprise (as I can read the writing on the wall)....they had been taking pieces of my job away from me, gradually, over time, no wonder I kept kicking up a big fit, as on one level, I must have known.  Then I surrendered, and the end, when it did come, was peaceful.  I shed a few tears, made a sarcastic remark or two, but basically, I accepted reality, and even embraced it, as truth be told, I did not want the job, had not wanted it for quite a long time, I was leaning into the cutting of ties, and embracing was and remains the best course of action.

Of course, I have yet to burst this bubble of reality for my family......as it was just before Christmas, and why ruin everyone's Christmas, including my own...I am trying to envision a scenario in which my husband does not freak out, stress out, stress me out...where like Mr. Magoo, I walk blindly yet confidently off the end of the beam, and lo and behold, another beam appears out of nowhere and I do not fall........but continue merrily on my way.  I can do this....but convincing my husband of this in another thing...he does not believe in infinite possibilities.....so am preparing myself to not be affected by his lack of belief, and am also paving the way for the next awesome reality to be mine.  Working it.........and I really need as much time as possible for this to me so.............still working out the details.

So, I will be blogging on this regularly....my brilliant thoughts for yesterday was that to live an extraordinary life, I need to do extraordinary things, and for me that includes eating a 100% raw diet....not a reality today....working the Miracle Morning....(I am so not a morning person....I really 'wake up' no earlier than 10 am, preferably closer to noon, beginning my day with a bit of meditation so I go into my day 'conscious'.....with forethought.............with a blue print of how I want my day to go.........and I must work my programs, the Soulful Woman Program is a big big deal, a big big help but I have to participate, do the work, show up for it....and all the rest of the things that I have.....some are good foundations, no longer needed to be worked, but having gotten the gist of them into my programming, they have done their good, but others need further work and exploration.....I have ordered the "Emotion Code" program and am waiting to the cd's and Emotion Chart etc to arrive....and really need to work that program....and or find a practioner to work on my releasing my trapped emotions with me, but I really would love it if I could do it mostly myself.  I had an iridology reading, the main thing I got out of it is that she could see all of the colon cleansing, juice fasting that I had done...that I have actually done my colon alot of good....must keep up the good work.  Other than that she didn't tell me anything I don't know already....she did suggest I cut out overt sugars and wheat from my diet...still working on that.....esp with the wheat.  I like my sprouted grain toast.

So, I am actually quite excited and exhilarated to see what my future brings......in my old life, it was definitely a case of being a square peg in a round hole...not exactly a fit...........and I really don't want to be that again..I am going to find the proper fit for me....and I have a much better idea of what that is....especially as I do need a real job whilst I finally and fully bloom into the real me..........

I have started wearing 'goddess' dress alot more............with my goddess necklaces..my tibetan piece, my amethyst, my turquoise, my beads............being myself more fully in my everyday life....

Tomorrow I hope to attend a full moon drumming ceremony,....hoping it is not outside yet it would be best if it were but it has gotten so very cold here now, at the tail end of December....frosty cold...hopefully there will be a very large bonfire...........and I will dress warmly and bring my new drum which is lovely.....and tomorrow morning (sometime...but not too late....) I am going to the gym, to work out, followed by a lovely session in the steam room, and then hopefully a lunch date with my husband, followed by working on my Soulful Women course...listening to the meditations on the Mystic, etc., participating in the various topics and posts on the forum.....that is my blueprint for tomorrow........and here it ends....bon soir, bon nuit, bon reves.

Ciao bellas!

Being a Vegan Is A Radical Act

It has been 10 days since my last post.  I am still moving forward with my plans, still working on web design, on becoming my witchy goddess wild wise woman self, and my Soulful Women Certificate Course starts next Wednesday.  And I have been dealing with the fear and self-sabotage that has caused.  It has not been too bad, but it is still frustrating.   I was indulging in something that has been detrimental to my overall health and energy levels....I have since stopped.  But I am still dealing with the fear....which I know is just a fear of the unknown, but it paralyzes my mind, makes it harder for me to think clearly, to take action.....but I will push through it....or just use mind aikido on it, which to me means, working with it.  Using it to move forward.  My diet is no longer 100% raw, but it is high raw.  Once you have done this long enough,  it is the new norm, and cooked foods slowly drop away.  There are many foods now that I used to eat that I just can no longer eat.  I eat meat rarely now, and hope to stop completely.  I don't remember what it was that prompted me to get this book from the library, but I checked out and read the book by Howard Lyman, who was on the Oprah Winfrey show back a while ago, "Mad Cowboy, Plain Truth From the Cattle Rancher Who Won't Eat Meat."  From what I can tell he is now not just vegetarian, but vegan.  And after reading his book, and getting info from many other sources, I find myself more and more inclined to be one as well.  Our planet is over populated with humans, but it is more overpopulated with cattle, pigs and even sheep and chickens.  But especially with cattle and pigs.  And the devastation caused by the raising of cattle alone is doing more harm than almost anything else on the planet.  When global warming and carbon dioxide emissions are discussed, you almost never hear that the main contributor of green house gases are cows.  If you read his book you will get a real awakening.....as not only are cattle raised in an extremely unhealthy manner, they are consuming most of the grain grown in the world, most arable land is used to grow food for them, food which isn't even healthy for them.  Cows are fed a "meal" made from dead animals.  It used to be all dead animals including other dead cows, but they took out the cows (supposedly) and now they just eat all other dead animals, cooked down and separated and dried.  They also eat a ton of grain and antibiotics.  Cows are designed to eat grass, not grain.  Grain gives them rectal and vaginal prolapses meaning these body parts fall out of the cow, and have to be pushed back inside and the tear in their flesh that occurs when this happens, needs to be sewn up.  And it happens all of the time.  There is so much information in his book, and none of it is good.  But all of it is true.  If you gave a copy of his book to everyone on the planet, many would read it and be appalled and many would throw it away and not read it because they prefer to live in denial, don't care to know, for some it is how they make their livelihood, and they don't want to think about how they are ruining the planet with their greed. He also addresses water issues, pesticide and herbicides, bovine growth hormone, desertification of the planet...I saw in the news today that Oklahoma had a huge, terrible dust storm, which I can only think is caused by overgrazing of cattle on the land.  I live near open space, land that is left unused, except ranchers can graze cattle on it.  Cattle grazed this land over 2 years ago.  It is now a waste land.  The only thing growing on it is bindweed.  After 2 years, only bindweed.  And they have done nothing to restore it.  From what else I see happening on it, I fear fracking is coming next.  If that happens I don't know what I will do.

So all of that information in his book is more than enough reason to not eat meat, but another reason, is Monsanto and ConAgra etc.  The only way to fight back against these giant corporations that are trying to take over our food supply, is to not eat what they produce.  Being a vegan is a radical act.

And then there is all of the evidence that meat eating contributes majorly to cancers, heart disease, diabetes, and pretty much every disease that ails us.  The cure for all diseases?  Stop eating animals and animal products.  Meat and milk.  Cheese, eggs, butter, etc.  Then you will have the best chance of being healthy and not coming down with these diseases.  You can workout and get as much physical exercise as you like, but if you keep meat and animal products in your diet you will still get heart disease, cancer, etc. 

Love Yourself, Live Life Fully



Love Yourself, Live Life Fully


“Looking fabulous at any age means loving your age,loving who you are, growing into yourself, having a healthy self esteem, looking awesome from the inside out, having a great soul, giving, loving, being selfless. Having a positive attitude, living your best possible life, giving your best to everyone around you. Being present and authentic. Doing what you love. If you have all these, you will look fabulous at any age.”
Nancy Hauschildt, www.yoursouladvice.com



“Being authentic along with with being loyal and honest to yourself imparts grace and contentment to one’s personality .This inner charm never fades away and keeps one always young.” – Vandana Kumar Seth



“Laughter, love, creative expression, and gratitude are my “daily beauty ritual”. Joy Holland, Facets of Joy


“Be happy” – Jana Dawson