DAY 3~ WEEK ONE OF SEVEN ~ BLOCK ONE OF SIX~(42 WEEKS)

Another very good day.  It is strange...yesterdays post says it was posted on Thursday, which is today, and I know I was not up that late....wierd.  Today I had my green smoothie....made with 2 ripe peaches, an orange, 2 med bananas, 10 small strawberries, 4 handfuls of mixed greens and 2 tbsp of nutrient dense powder.  which is made with almonds, sunflower seeds, ground flax, hemp seeds, spirulina, psyllium powder nutritional yeast and cinnamon.  Also had some almonds, some Garden of Life raw greens powder, 1 tsp of maca, a small salad with a few slices of hard  boiled egg and a little bit of cheese...I was hungry today...for something not sweet, which my smoothie seemed to be...took me all day to finish it.  Then I went to the gym, came home, had 3 toasted pieces of sprouted grain toast with mayo, avocado (1 avo total) and Mrs Dashes Chipotle seasoning yum, 1 orange tomato (med smallish), then still feeling hungry or something I had 2 more pieces of sprouted grain toast with raw almond butter and banana slices.  hmmm..not sure if I needed all that...but did do alot today.

It was good at the gym. my work out was fueled by maca and chocolate and the raw greens powder...and music...today I was listening to George Harrison's Concert for Bangladesh...great songs on there....and later, when I was in the steam room I struck up a conversation with a young woman, who had a bit of a cough....and then she told me she also had had bv (bacterial vaginosis) something I know something about, so I was telling her all these alternative, natural ways to deal with it, told her it was a sign of an imbalance and to avoid alcohol and sweets for a while til things were back in balance, take alot of probiotics, eat plain yogurt. etc......when she'd had enough of the steam room she left saying "thank you goddess" to me as she left.  sweet....so sweet. love it that she said that.  I also exchanged a nice smile and namaste hand greeting with this older Nepali man who comes to the gym with his son.  I just find him to have nice energy.....but perhaps he is a bit simple too...not really sure, but his son noticed that he likes me (in a friendly way I would hope) and seems to try and keep him away from me.  I have never overtly tried to be friendly with him...but have smiled at him and he was in the steam room once when I was in there....anyways...it was nice to exchange that greeting...I don't think he speaks any English.
I am trying to be very circumspect, yet friendly...don't want the old man to get any ideas (which I don't think he should but not sure why the son thinks his interest in me is bad...I only say this because one day he did choose to use a treadmill right next to the one I was on.....and while I didn't really interact with him, I was aware he was there and was a bit amused by him....anyhoo it was after this that I noticed his son seemed to keep him far away from where I am in the gym...I am not trying to make this into something it is not.....just find it curious.  I like to be friendly to people, like people from other countries....but want to be respectful also.  It is no big deal....just one of those curious things that keep your brain tied up a bit....but I don't necessarily need to understand or know what's up with it....just let it be. as. it. is.

So...tomorrow starts 4 days of juice...and 4 days of good times...I can tell I am not all that resolved to do this...so don't know if I will keep to it...but if I just remember how wonderful my last bit of juice fasting was...I will be inspired to do it properly...not mess it up.

My first juice of the day tomorrow is going to be a hodge podge...not sure what I have around, but do have greens, carrots, apples, parsley if it's not gone bad, cucumbers ,broccoli, celery....should be okay.

Then later I will go out and get lots of greens, romaine lettuces, kale, more parsley, dandelion greens, I want to do some straight green juices.  Maybe all straight green juices.  I am also going to try juicing my sprouts.

So onwards and upwards..so looking forward to enjoying the next 4 days...and now it's time for bed.

ciao bellas!

Back again......couldn't sleep...lots of phlegm...drainage, pain in elbow joint (typical of my candida crap) and I have painful fissures in my heels.....shit.  I think it's the bread.  It didn't used to do this to me....but I do think that must be it.  More reason to go 100%.  These dang heel fissures are like cuts....deep cuts...and they hurt and are unsightly....I cover them up with coverstick...even put it into them like spackle...it seems to help them heal a bit.....but damn I wish they would just fricking leave and never ever come back!  Sick of them.  Those and the circular lesion just above my right ankle on the outside of my leg.  Red and itchy.....feh!  I wanted motivation to keep me juicing....there it is.  Also found out getting another $500 put into my HSA account....that will help buy some produce.  Best medicine in the world.

DAY 2~ WEEK ONE OF SEVEN ~ BLOCK ONE OF SIX~ (42 WEEKS)

I am very excited about my life right now........which is how I always am when I am at the beginning of anything...which is how we all are....the thing is, to keep it going when it gets old.  I am not so very good at that, Gemini that I am....however, I have a plan on how to deal with that as well...at that is....keep the beginners mind...and also keep things new....exciting....by doing new things, trying new things...learning new things.....and keeping my dream, my goal, my vision of my life in front of me, in the front of my mind.  I've had 2 good days...still not 100% raw, but very good days overall.....yesterday I had only 3 small squares of the organic dark chocolate, my awesome green smoothie with the NuDe (nutrient dense) powder added, some grapes, some crackers (only a few...Back to Nature), almonds, then I went home and had one piece of toasted sprouted grain bread with half of a very yummy avocado on it, with mayo and some Mrs. Dashes Chipotle seasoning sprinkled on top.  We went out to the Farmers Market and I had one yummy vegan spicy tamale with spicy vegan green chile sauce....very good...but I think it made me tired a bit...corn.  hmmm

Then later on at home having a late dinner with the family, of salmon and fresh awesome corn on the cob I had just a nibble of the salmon and 1 1/2 ears of corn with butter and salt.  yum.

Just before bed I ate 2 heel (end) pieces of the sprouted grain bread toasted with some coconut butter (the kind that uses all of the coconut), stevia powder and cinnamon on them.  Yum Yum.

Then I brushed my teeth and went to bed......have lost a bit of weight...don't have a ton to lose....10 pounds would be good, 20 would be really good...and 30 is maybe more than I need to lose, maybe not.  While I am into the weight loss....don't like this bit of flab around my middle, I am more into the energy and the natural high of eating raw....that is the reallllly good part.

I got Sarma Melgailis's book, Living Raw Food, at the library and read a bit of it last night.  I really like her take on it all, and love it that she is not letting herself be bound by labels....she will eat meat if she wants...but she prefers to eat mainly a raw vegan diet.  But she allows herself options...and she is into the quality of the food.....and how good it is for you...so she has a good little article about soy, refers to canola oil as an industrial oil, which it is...not good for consumption, and gives us the dirt on the new 'pasteurization' of  almonds...they use this chemical......which is a carcinogen....shit.  I don't think I can afford to buy the imported truly raw almonds, and while I am closer to CA than many people, I am not close enough to be able to try and do some back of the shed deals with almond growers.  However, I do know some people in CA who may be able to hook me up...but dang.  What to do.....some things you just can't worry about???  More on this in the future...need to do some research.

Also got my New Mediterranean Diet Cookbook...looks very good, but I kept falling asleep while trying to read it.......will have time over the weekend...taking Friday and Monday off...and my hubby will be out of town...so my time will be mostly all mine!!! love that.   And that is when I will do the 4 day juice fast.  Not because he is gone, but  because I will have the time!

ciao bellas!

Also, Joe Cross of the movie "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead"  which is so awesome by the way and Netflix has it as an instant download...so watch it!  He has a website....um... http://www.jointhereboot.com/    Join The Reboot  and you can sign up and be in community with others who are doing juice fasts, and get advice, support, etc.  I signed up...I like connecting with others....esp others who are into the whole raw and juicing thing...and I love giving advice.....and alot of these people are new to the whole juice and raw foods thing and appreciate what I share..other places people already know alot...so I am just one of many......just another cog in the wheel....I like helping people learn how to be truly healthy....and stay out of the doctors office... 3rd leading cause of death in the US?  Medical treatment.  Need I say more?

I HAVE A DREAM.........I HAVE A PLAN......

I still have a dream, the same dream, and I have a plan.  Another plan.  I will keep at this until I get it.  This new plan is 6 blocks of time, each 7 weeks long.  Taking me right up to the cusp of my next birthday.  I am  an amazing vibrant and healthy vision of loveliness of love living my dream life.  Each week I am eating as raw as I can and having 2-4 days of only juice.  Today was day 1.  I had a wonderful green smoothie for breakfast, oh, I lie, I had it mid-afternoon, 3:30-4pm...for breakfast.....I had 6 small squares of Black & Greens organic 70% dark chocolate.  That took me up to 2pm...then I made some toast, and promptly got distracted and left it in the toaster while I ran to the post office.  (Not far from where I was).  Came back and had 2 pieces of sprouted grain toast with raw almond butter and slices of a yummy ripe banana.  Afterwards I finished off my wonderful green smoothie, which was made with 2 ripe peaches, 1 orange, 2 ripe bananas, some frozen raspberries, 4 large handfuls of mixed greens and 2 tablespoons of NuDe...NutrientDense powder....  It was great.  I also nibbled on a few almonds during the course of the day.  After work I went to the gym and did a good 20 minutes on the stair stepper, followed by a good weight routine, then 30 minutes on the treadmill.  Normally I do at least 45 minutes, an hour if I have time, but I only got 4 hours of sleep last night plus was a bit crunched for time.  I came home, had 2 more pieces of sprouted grain toast, with a good bit of pesto slathered on each and a good bit of tiny ripe cherry tomatoes.  That was dinner.

Yesterday I went to Barnes & Noble and looked at a whole armload of cookbooks, some raw, some not, then wrote down the names of the ones I like best, and came home and reserved them at my local library.  I am so grateful for the wonderful library system we have here, as I found all of the books I was wanting.

They are,  Living Raw Foods by Sarma Melngailis, RAWvolution by Matt Amsden, The New Mediterranean Diet Cookbook by Nancy Harmon Jenkins, Raw Family Signature dishes by the Boutenkos, Super Natural Everyday by Heidi Swanson and last week I went to a local independent bookstore, found some great books and also put holds on them.....Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn,  The Mirror of Yoga, Awakening the Intelligence of Body and Mind, by Richard Freeman, Inside-Out Healing, Transforming Your Life Throught the Power of Presence, by Richard Moss, and Law of Attraction Plain & Simple by Sonia Ricotti and a bunch of books, books on CD etc by Eckhardt Tolle.

All of this is really helping me to change...I am using as many things as I can....to seek change, to be change, to change my habits, to overcome my self-sabotage...which is my biggest block.  I am getting there, I know what I am up against.....very consciously, ...I will do this.  I will become a Raw Goddess, living a life fulfilling my dreams and potential.  I checked out a program by someone else, and was very disappointed.  Some of it was good, but the main thing I wanted....seemed so off to me...so money and luxury, materialistic focused.  Not what I am looking for...yeah, I want a good life, abundance etc, but I don't want to have it by selling someone else's product which is kind of like chasing my tail....I don't want to have to sell anything.  I can see getting paid for service.....but you will get more than your money's worth...and...the biggest thing of all...I am already living a life of abundance....I am already  blessed beyond measure.  I am so grateful for all of the wonderful people and circumstances of my life.....it is here now. 

So...today was a good day.  A success.  A few things I could have done better....had my smoothie right away, not had the chocolate...had more raw food available so I don't eat the sprouted grain bread.  My goal is to wean myself away from it....but it is all good....I just do want to be 100% raw...for at least 6 months.  Then I will truly know how great I can feel........I can feel the magic already.... I want more of it!

Tomorrow...no green smoothie for breakfast...unless...unless I take the blender to work and make it there, as I have no bananas at home (accidentally left my wallet at home so could not get to the store for more...)  I do have some bananas at work,  so if I bring everything else, I can make my smoothie there.  That is what I am going to do as I just have to have my green smoothie. 

I can't wait to get my books from the library.  If I had had my wallet today, I would have gotten Sarma's book...she is very awesome, imho.....really like what she does, her recipes...she had a very good article in her book about soy, explaining exactly why it is not good for consumption unless it is fermented, explaining the awful things done to it to make it into things like 'tvp'...textured vegetable protein....which is a frankenfood if there ever was one.....I wish she had something in there about canola oil as well...she might..I was in a bit of a hurry so didn't get to read it all...will get it tomorrow!  I am excited!!!

Tomorrow is going to be another awesome, rawsome day!

DREAMS***I HAVE DREAMS

I am a raw goddess......that is my goal and my dream and I feel the universe aligned behind me in pursuit of this goal.  For me, what is a bit difficult is figuring out how not to get bored with the food.  I think learning a new way of eating is much like learning a new language.  At first, it is easy, but as you get down to it, it takes self-discipline and determination to perservere.  I have been making raw dishes from recipes from the books that I have, and that I have taken from many websites....and they all sound good.....but none of them are all that good.  What I make doesn't look as good as what is pictured or described.....and something may taste good but the texture throws me off, or the seasoning doesn't work..  But I am sticking with it....going back to simpler foods.  Foods that have not been messed with too much....foods that I know that I like.  I tried making a raw version of a quiche...basically made a nut crust that was seasoned for a quiche, and used the same basic ingredients as one would use when making a raw cheesecake to make the quiche filling, adding some marinated vegetables to that.  It turned out ok, but not great.  And is a heavier meal than I need on a daily basis.  So today is my 9th day of being mostly raw.  I have not been 100% all of the time, but most of the time.  My goal is to be 100% raw, and I am not having any cravings for cooked food....I am just not liking much of what I have been making that is raw food.

I would much rather just eat things in their natural states than try and create all of these complicated raw dishes which are rarely very satisfactory....I am putting my thinking cap on and will eat what appeals to me and see if I have a system that is unique and that may interest, even benefit, others.

So to keep track of the evolution of my diet I will be posting what I eat everyday....it is a helpful thing to do.

Today's menu
Green smoothie made with orange, banana, strawberries, mixed salad greens and some NUtrientDEnse protein supplement.

Also have some raw almonds and blueberries.......off menu had 4 dark chocolate Nuggets.....2 would have sufficed, none would have been best.

It is now lunch time...will finish my smoothie.....it is a quart of smoothie....and then later have some blueberries and maybe more banana.........gym session tonight....looking forward to it. 

STILL JUICY

Today is the 9th day of my juice feast....I am one seventh of the way through it.....having really good days....yesterday was a bit bleah not much but a bit, but that was partially because I juiced some of the dandelions from our yard (we never spray it) and they have much more of a kick than commercial dandelion greens from the store.  I passed a good sized poop this morning with obvious cleansing from the liver...I inspected (of course) and one side of the poop sausage was a light tan color.....and I was definitely feeling 'liverish' yesterday.  I had one bottle of it left which I drank today...I am going to do this again, and also give some to Liam and Dakota...will have to time Dakota's right...a Sunday would be a good day for him I think so he won't be crabby at school, Trans or around friends.

I gave him some apple juice with organic tangerine peel in it....but I don't know if it did anything..I am going to make him another juice with everything..apple, parsley, dandelion and the tangerine peel...that should do it.

Liam should have some also.  I have been having alot of young coconut juice....it is sooo good.  And a quick and easy drink...doesn't require an hour of juicing.  Tomorrow I am going to take all of the young coco meat out of the ones I drank (I have been saving them in the fridge) and make a yummy pudding.  I am glad the weather turned cold for a few days as I am running out of fridge space and can keep them in the sunroom.  I brought the tomato and basil plants back into the house it is getting so cold, esp at night.

So still doing the juice feast....have been cheating a bit with raw foods...as I made a raw cheesecake which is yum...and had a small piece....and ate some raw cashew butter.....but I am not going to do any of that tomorrow...that is the road to ruin.  I am determined to do this successfully, to keep this going....it is too good of a thing to stop now....I don't want to waste what progress I have accumulated....I want to add to it.  I want to do this for the full 9 weeks....63 days....I have 52 days left...which is so cool...as I love the number 52 and also 51....and I love the energy and tuned in-ness that I have....it's great! I plan on keeping it...I am learning so much...and have sooo sooo much more to learn....off to study some of it.....practice practice practice.

DAY 7/57 THIS HAS BEEN JUST SO COOL

This juice feast has been such a cool experience.....I have been so spiritually high and meeting such cool people and having so many moments that feel just perfect...in the flow in the zone.....moments of bliss..  My energy is not the high it was on Sat but that is okay, my body is cleansing and healing....so some days will have lower energy....they are still awesome.  I went back to the bookstore and talked to Rick, the owner again, I wanted to ask him about this experience that I had that I had no idea what to make of it... I was in a dream....the details of which I don't remember.....and then I was very suddenly rising up off of the planet and nearly sonic speed...it was just a rush....I felt like I was headed into outer space...up to a star or wherever....it was so sudden and swift it scared me....I so I stopped it..........and slowly went back down to earth...it was a neat experience even if I was unable to let it go completely......  When I related this to Rick he asked me if I meditated...which I sort of do and sort of don't......and he said this was an experience of my consciousness rising.......something that many who meditate aspire to have.....would love to have.....which was way cool.....and he said I have natural talent....but like a kid with natural talent for a sport or music or anything, it needs to be developed....and he recommended an area in his store where I would find some books that would help me...he's so cool...he did not tell me any particular book....but just to look at them and see which one spoke to me, and then to look at some cd's and choose something there...........so I went back there...to the books...and  found one right away...Tarkang Tulku "Tibetan Meditation", and then I went over to the CD's....and I was looking and saw some that looked interesting, but he called out to me that he meant the cd's around the corner....so I went around the corner....and I didn't like any of them, and I said, But I don't like any of these....and I chose 4 from the other side...and brought those and my Tibetan book up front.  I had also chosen a small book, which turned out to be more of a boutiquey kind of  book...and he said as much and that I really didn't need that....and he ranked my cd's in order of which he thought were best....and the one he liked best was the one I liked best, which also had an accompanying book which I went back and got, and so I got 2 books and a cd'set...the book and cd set are Traveling the Sacred Sound Current....Keys for Conscious Evolution by Deborah Van Dyke....very awesome books....when I had chosen these 3 items he told me that I had made excellent choices....he really is a Merlin of sorts, a Dumbledore, a Gandalf  ....so wise...  so that made me very high and excited.....and now I have to set some time to regularly study and meditate...to 'practice'.......and the timing is so perfect...and I can go by the creek on my lunch hour....and yes!

Another awesome cool day...and I received the most lovely wonderful email from my oldest son re:Mothers' day...thanking me for being an awesome mom....which makes me so happy...he is a wonderful awesome son!

DAY 6/58

Yesterday was an amazing high day, but I did a couple of things, which have made today (or maybe it's just how today would be anyways) not an amazing high day.  But that's okay, as I was about to float off the planet!  What I did was I ate some chocolate...not alot, but some....turns out it was raw chocolates, and I even bought some, but I have not had any today, and will not eat them.  I want to do this right.  I also got literally high, as in smoked some....this kind of opportunity is not something that comes my way very often anymore and it is something that I enjoy and also the situation, while it would have been fine if I did not partake, it was definitely better that I did.  I have no regrets, yesterday was mindblowing....without the weed....but I don't have that wonderful natural high today like I did yesterday, and I miss it. 

Yesterday I mostly had young coconut water....one of those is equivalent to a quart of juice if you ask me...does a body good! and I had 3 of them...then I had a quart of carrot juice...I was about to write orange juice as it is about as orange as you can get.....I had some green juice from the day before, it had been refrigerated and was still good....but I never got around to drinking it....and since it got a little warm I put in the freezer to cool down fast.....and forgot about it.  One bottle broke, one did not...luckily the mess was not much.....I need to do my green juice differently.....I put 2 cukes in it...I think only 1 is better.  Will be making some of that tonight and some more straight carrot juice. 

Today I have had one quart of carrot juice, 2 young coconuts, 4 scoops of raw greens powder in water, and an Ola Loa vitamin fizzy pack...not sure if I am going to keep on having those or not.....I have never tried them before...thought they might help.  Maybe I will take them in the evening.....

So today is Day 6...I am into this...it is good...so glad I have the next 4 days to chill and just do this....then have to get it together for when I have to get up early and go to work...but I can do it, I have done it before...
soon I will be 1/9 of the way done with this!

What happened yesterday that was so mindblowing is I went into a spiritual bookstore here...and bought some candles...and a book on the Aleister Crowley Thoth tarot, and as I was paying I was talking to the owner and we talked about a few things...I told him some stuff, some of my archetypal dreams (I have had 2 or 3...amazing dreams) and this and that...nothing really special, but when I walked out of that store...I felt so high, like my mind had been blown wide open....it was incredibly amazing...I was barely on this planet anymore...very cool...stayed with me ....

Then shortly after that I met someone.....who also blew my mind.....and that's all I can say.

Tomorrow I am going back to the bookstore as the owner will be there again...the one I was talking to....and I want to ask him what he thinks of this feeling I have gotten a few times..one time especially was quite amazing, I felt as if I were rising up off of the earth, literally about to go into outer space, and a very high speed...sonic speed almost....but I didn't let myself go......I mean I was looking down and seeing everything get smaller and smaller to the point where I was nearly seeing the entire planet from above....if I was even still seeing anything at all...I was moving that fast.... 

I have always wondered if that would have led to an out of body experience, if it would have led to my death?  And hard for me to entertain...but what if it was someone else drawing me up?  I have no sense of that, but it did come on suddenly.....interesting.....

He did tell me I was very intuitive...which I am......very......as I pay attention.